Teachability
I think ever since I became a Christian, I make it a point to be teachable, because it is a mark of humilty, a character prized by God and the Church, and I believe, prized by me, too.
It is easy, however, to become teachable just on the outward but feels offended and becomes defensive on the inside. When that happens, it's a red alert that pride is brewing inside of us. Cos before we know it, we may find ourselves thinking, "Who is he/her to tell me what to do?" or "Hello, you're not any better! Remember that time..."
Everyday, I'm personally bombarded by the need to take a step back during conversations to ensure that I'm not easily offended by words, tones, body language etc. I thank God for the constant reminder to keep my heart in check towards humility. More often than not, His grace gives me the courage and security to know that it's ok. I won't be short-changed in life just because I let some people get away with saying and doing nasty things to me. Some people simply know not what they're doing. And my job, is to forgive. Proverbs 10:12 says, "Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sins." Sometimes I lose it though. But it's ok, life goes on. I'll make it less easy the next time.
Anyway, I really want to get the best out of others' experiences as well as my own. People are like wells of knowledge that we can tap into. I believe God puts people in our lives, the wise and even the not so wise ones, and through them impart valuable lessons to us.
Recently, I revisited the lesson of teachability when someone I know was criticized for not doing a good job in an area the person was responsible for. This person was a bit offended because the tone with which the message was put across, was perhaps not as kind as how the person was used to. I hope that with the unhappiness felt, this individual did not miss the point and become too sore or proud to change for the better, just because the criticism, though true, was hard to swallow.
Let's put it this way, taking offence makes it harder to recognize the truth and hinders us from improving ourselves. Eventually, the person who loses out is the one who remains stagnant beyond correction. Proverbs 10:17. "He who keeps instruction is in the way of life, but he who refuses correction goes astray."
Sometimes before we stay offended, we need to evaluate the truth of the feedback given and do something about it if it's true.
Having said that, I do believe that when communicating with adults, although it is important that we present constructive criticism as it is, no sugar-coating, we need to consider our position (as peers or someone of authority) to the receiver and receiver's receptiveness to appropriate the tone of the feedback. We are to correct in love. "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." (Proverbs 15:1) Regardless of how the receiver should take the message, I think if we sincerely want people to receive criticisms and learn from their mistakes, we need to make an effort to adjust the way we convey the message.
No one is perfect and everybody has their blindspots. We need one another as we walk towards Christ-likeness.
It is easy, however, to become teachable just on the outward but feels offended and becomes defensive on the inside. When that happens, it's a red alert that pride is brewing inside of us. Cos before we know it, we may find ourselves thinking, "Who is he/her to tell me what to do?" or "Hello, you're not any better! Remember that time..."
Everyday, I'm personally bombarded by the need to take a step back during conversations to ensure that I'm not easily offended by words, tones, body language etc. I thank God for the constant reminder to keep my heart in check towards humility. More often than not, His grace gives me the courage and security to know that it's ok. I won't be short-changed in life just because I let some people get away with saying and doing nasty things to me. Some people simply know not what they're doing. And my job, is to forgive. Proverbs 10:12 says, "Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sins." Sometimes I lose it though. But it's ok, life goes on. I'll make it less easy the next time.
Anyway, I really want to get the best out of others' experiences as well as my own. People are like wells of knowledge that we can tap into. I believe God puts people in our lives, the wise and even the not so wise ones, and through them impart valuable lessons to us.
Recently, I revisited the lesson of teachability when someone I know was criticized for not doing a good job in an area the person was responsible for. This person was a bit offended because the tone with which the message was put across, was perhaps not as kind as how the person was used to. I hope that with the unhappiness felt, this individual did not miss the point and become too sore or proud to change for the better, just because the criticism, though true, was hard to swallow.
Let's put it this way, taking offence makes it harder to recognize the truth and hinders us from improving ourselves. Eventually, the person who loses out is the one who remains stagnant beyond correction. Proverbs 10:17. "He who keeps instruction is in the way of life, but he who refuses correction goes astray."
Sometimes before we stay offended, we need to evaluate the truth of the feedback given and do something about it if it's true.
Having said that, I do believe that when communicating with adults, although it is important that we present constructive criticism as it is, no sugar-coating, we need to consider our position (as peers or someone of authority) to the receiver and receiver's receptiveness to appropriate the tone of the feedback. We are to correct in love. "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." (Proverbs 15:1) Regardless of how the receiver should take the message, I think if we sincerely want people to receive criticisms and learn from their mistakes, we need to make an effort to adjust the way we convey the message.
No one is perfect and everybody has their blindspots. We need one another as we walk towards Christ-likeness.
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