Bandaged Soul...so I can open my heart to you again.

Sometimes I do wonder if we need to go down the depth of the rugged pit to feel the real desperation. From what I learnt, it seems that God will not be moved until You show Him how desperate you are. But how desperate is desperate enough? How can a person know how much they need God, or need to believe in order to satisfy the desperation level? Jesus, will You make a move even when I'm blind to my ways and numb in my soul? How do I know if it is worth the effort. I need faith to believe. To trust. To know that Your hand is already reached out waiting for mine to just move slightly. Perhaps it's my hopelessness that makes the small distance look big beyond what I'm able to bear. Can You help me to see and give me the push to act, to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT? Perhaps it's my pride that causes the fear of appearing like a fool for trying too hard only to end up with nothing. Afraid that even the Almighty but Sovereign God refuse to save because tough love does not permit

Wind Beneath My Wings Songwriters: Jeff Alan Silbar; Larry Henley   It must have been cold there in my shadow To never have sunlight on your face You were content to let me shine, that's your way You always walked a step behind So I was the one with all the glory While you were the one with all the strength A beautiful face without a name for so long A beautiful smile to hide the pain It might have appeared to go unnoticed But I've got it all here in my heart I want you to know, I know the truth, of course I know it I would be nothing without you Did you ever know that you're my hero And everything I would like to be? I can fly higher than an eagle For you are the wind beneath my wings

In about 12 hours, Mommy would have gone to be with Jesus for exactly one year. I miss her still. We all do - her children and grandchildren. On the other hand, I thank You, Jesus, that because of You, we can celebrate her 1st year anniversary in eternity with You. Whenever I think of this, it is a hope that I'd one day get to see her again, in a place where there's only joy without sorrow, for eternity. The family will be meeting up in the evening to visit the niche at All Saints' in memory of her, and have dinner together. We gather because of her, because it was her love and giving of herself that kept us close together when she was alive. And even after she's gone, we are still knitted closely. I believe this is a legacy that she has left behind, and also something that we want to sustain. In fact, it seems we're always looking forward to spend time with each other. Mommy, we will carry on your legacy, remembering your love and your wish tha

Such a beauty. I miss you, Mommy. Everyday...

Today I chanced upon this page in my staff profile. Mom's name is still there as the secondary emergency contact. By right I need to edit it. It's her one-year anniversary in exactly a week's time (6 Jun) that she has gone to be with Jesus. Maybe I should just leave it there :D

I opened for my beloved, But my beloved had turned away and was gone. My heart leaped up when he spoke. I sought him, but I could not find him; I called him, but he gave me no answer. 7 The watchmen who went about the city found me. They struck me, they wounded me; The keepers of the walls Took my veil away from me. 8 I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, If you find my beloved, That you tell him I am lovesick! - Songs 5:6-8 I'm lovesick and I'm not taking the test well. The test of Your withdrawal. The test for myself if You are a mere source of my satisfaction, or are you the consuming reason for my very life. How can I make You the consuming reason for my life? My lifestyle is reflecting a condition so far away from it. So far I'm not even sure if I see you as the only source of true satisfaction. I request for the actualization of Your prayer in me. The prayer recorded in John 17:26 where You asked that the love with which the Father have loved You may be in Your dis

I wonder if the so-called leaders at my workplace are healthy... we are supposed to be producing leaders, aren't we? Are you healthy? -------------------------- 6 Danger Signs of Unhealthy Leadership by Leroy Barber Leading is not an easy job, and for most of us, it is trying to find balance between managing our own lives and mistakes while leading people. This can prove to be quite difficult and can lead to a ton of complications if not done well. There are a few signs to look for that will warn us if a leader is headed in the right direction and can help guide when deciding to give someone our support. I call them the red flags of leadership. 1. The use of too many personal pronouns when describing the work of a team or organization. Most, if not all, great accomplishments are the result of a good team. No one does everything themselves, and when a leader over uses “I” and “me” to describe the work of an organization, you might have a problem. 2. When a leader surrounds him or he

Lately I've put myself up on a dating website with encouragement from colleagues. It has been an interesting experience, broadening my perspective of chatting up strangers and challenging my self-concept. I've never seen myself as attractive by the common social standards and my profile on the website is an honest one. So when people say they like what they saw and start messaging me and say they want to marry me after a few exchanges, I can't help but doubt their intention and put up the romance-scam alert. One strange phenomenon is their willingness to get into long-distance relationship. Most who state their interest are from overseas - mainly US and UK. I tell them straight on that I'm apprehensive about start developing a serious relationship with someone I've never met in person. I quote myself below from a recent reply to this German guy who signed off with Salam (I've also stated clearly that I am a Christian seeking someone of the same faith). "Yes