Bandaged Soul...so I can open my heart to you again.

I have the privilege of having 3 sisters that I've grown to love. All of us are very different but somehow I feel that we could appreciate each other's diversities. So once in a while, we'll have the opportunity to meet up exclusively, without the spouses, the kids or our parents (haha). If my brother didn't have to open his old airport road pasta hawker stall, he would have been present, too. Today's excuse to meet and dump all caretaking responsibilities to the husbands and our mother was one of my sister's leap year birthday. Tell you a secret, she's 10 years old tomorrow. Ahaha... :P So, I arranged for a Japanese buffet dinner at Miramar Hotel's Ikoi Restaurant. We seldom celebrate our own birthdays anymore. We'd mostly do it for the kids and our parents. So since my this sister only really get to officially have hers once every 4 years, I thought it would be nice to do something. So I made reservations like 2 weeks ago. I'm glad all of us ma

Wah, my shoulders and arms feel like they're on fire. All thanks to the 3rd dip today, this time under the hot afternoon sun. The redness seemed to have developed slowly. Didn't feel it at first, till this evening at my sister's. Played another short round of tennis in the evening. The sun was still up too. Hmmm... I think it got worse then. But the 'burn' marks confirmed that they're from the swim. Only God knows how many cells I killed today. Ouch! Oohhh!!! After this afternoon's experience, I've decided that it's really not worth exercising during lunch on a work day. Plus I don't really like the feel of sunblock lotion on my skin (which explains the redness). Moreover, perspiring immediately after shower kinda waste the effort totally. In this aspect, and at this stage, I think I should insist on having it stress-free to keep my motivation alive!

Was listening to this old song on my way to work this morning. Still love the voice and the music. The chorus brings new meaning this season. Will embed the music here when I remember to take it from my disc-changer (embedded). STAY FOR A WHILE By Amy Grant Long time since I've seen your smile But when I close my eyes I remember You were no more than a child But then so was I Young and tender Time carries on I guess it always will But deep inside my heart Time stands still Stay for awhile Well, it's good to see your smile And I love your company Stay for awhile And remember the days gone by For a moment it can seem Just the way it used to be Snowfalls, phone calls, broken hearts Clear summer days, warm and lazy Long walks, long talks, after dark We vowed we'd never forget Now it's hazy Time takes its toll And time alters our view It would be nice to Spend some time with you Stay for awhile Well, it's good to see your smile And I love your company Stay for awhile And

I remember I used to be a little obssessed with even numbers. Not so much for the digits, but that everything kinda need to balance out. Like if I tap my left foot, I would need to do the same with my right. It gets quite annoying sometimes because even the intensity of the action counts. Can't remember when I stopped this idiosyncratic behaviour. Can't figure out why either. Just know that I feel uneasy and feels incomplete when things are left lopsided. Well, this evening I was convinced to go for a second dip. Well, it's nothing to do with my former peculiarity. Actually it was this follow up from yesterday's first experience that reminded me of my childhood obsession. Or maybe, just maybe, I still have a bit of that in me. Haha, I won't be surprised. Whatever it is, I'm quite pleased with what I'm doing with my wheels. I hope to be able to make full use of it to do what I had wanted to do but lacked in motivation. I'm still in the process of getting

First swim for the year. Can't even remember when was the last time I took a dip in the water. So much have changed at the swimming complex. The bathroom looked newly renovated. I confess that I felt a bit cheated when I reached the pool. SO MANY PEOPLE!!! Aren't these people supposed to be studying for their exams??? Can't even see an empty lane lah! Haha... mountain out of a mole hill. But it's true. The traffic was so heavy you have to stop after every lap to make sure the next one won't end up in a collision with oncoming swimmers. It's dumb thinking back how much went through my mind just to convince myself to go. So much courage was needed to tell myself... "Aiyah, let them think what they want. They're not the one living my life." Truly, it's a season of dealing with insecurities. I'm so glad I went. Everything felt so familiar as I glide across the length of the pool. Looking down the 4m depth near the end of my first lap was like s

I was in such a bad mood this morning. The strange thing is, yesterday I had my appraisal with my 2nd big boss and it was a very encouraging and affirming session. Cell group was ok, too. I watched a couple of Korean movies when I got home, had good hours of sleep, but still, I felt such a lack in motivation. In case you think it's due to the movies I watched, well I don't think so. Cos both had good endings, and nothing in between that's 'chi-gek' enough to cause any sobbing at all. So I wasn't emo-ing. Anyway, Church was having a 24-hour Harp and Bowl session again. Just to recap, harp refers to worship while bowl signifies the intercession that rises to God from the incense. It started last evening at 6pm with a total of eight 3-hour sessions. I admit I was dragging my feet, taking my own sweet time to get myself out of the house, intending to go for the 12pm watch. It's no shocker that I got there late...45 minutes late, to be shamelessly exact. The mome

Left foot still hurts. Took another half day of urgent leave. Feels so lame, in all the meanings of the word. Was surfing a few blogs when I came across one with those personal surveys. Reminded me of a conversation I had with someone recently which goes something like this. muso: i still can't get over the fact that you're going to do this. someone: that shows how little you know about me. muso: well, you don't make it easy. someone: of course. Well, for people (in general) who are not so ready to be understood, they'll probably ignore such a survey even when tagged. Possible reasons: there are better things to do, too personal, too trivia, too lame, or simply, "what for?". Or it depends on who tagged them. I'm just guessing. What I can say for myself is that by God's grace and His own daily assured love for me, I've yet to give up. But I'm learning that it's more realistic to stop wondering why it's so difficult. I used to feel hurt

Today marks the last day of CNY...and I chose to stay at home whole day cos my feet was hurting (still is) from yesterday's game. It was quite bad in the morning. Totally no mood to do anything constructive so I got myself hooked to Korean drama, "My Girl". The whole drama runs around the theme of deception. Deception covered up with noble intentions. Plenty of jealousy, secrets, misunderstandings, betrayal, malicious schemes to redeem unrequited love etc. Aiyo, drama eh...what do you expect? If you use the logical mind to think about the whole thing, it's actually quite lame. They're all the same. Sigh...but millions of people allow themselves to be swept by episodes after episodes of emotional rollercoaster, fantasizing the possibilities of the scenarios happening in real life. Wah, cannot take it. A bit too 'chi-kek' for me. Makes me emo for nothing. Chey! Tsk, tsk, tsk...I think it would be a long time before I indulge myself in this destructive and ti

Yep, we did it again. Sandwiches for lunch again. Not just that, we even went for a game of tennis in the evening. We were so bad, that we were picking balls most of the time. I think most of our energy was expended from walking around the court to retrieve the balls and the painful laughter for missing the balls and bad serves. We were in stitches most of the time. Really cmi... So that was exercise on the mouth, stomach and lungs. My feet are aching now. Aiyo... After the game, a couple of us went to meet up with some ex-colleagues for a session of 'lou-hei' dinner at the 'zhi-cha' place opposite TP. Today's the 14th day of lunar new year. At one point, I missed the frequent visits for supper with the band kids. Now, most of them are preparing for the semestral exams. Wow, another academic year is coming to an end. Here's wishing everyone my best regards especially for those who are struggling and chionging late nights. May you always remain fresh mentally to

What time already, still don't come back... Here I am, waiting patiently at my sister's house for her to come home. My nephew's in the study room watching some anime on crunchyroll. This is the second time I've driven to my sister's for dinner. My brother-in-law say he cooked herbal chicken. As usual, over msn. Make me drool only what. This afternoon a few of us girls decided to go on a healthy lunch. So I bought some sandwich veggies after work and brought to the office. I love button mushrooms toasted with a slight sprinkle of salt on lightly margarine-spread wholemeal bread. Then, place a slice of cheese over the button mushroom and heat it up for a minute. Wah... :P~~~ Wonder how long we'll be able to keep up this healthy stint. Already we're snacking before knock off... Actually not that bad lah. Quite nice to do this once a while. Just that it's quite troublesome to go meddling in the pantry with all the chopping and cutting and preparing the sandw

Ok ok... 15 more minutes, and it will all go away. Usually they would stop by 11pm (legal blasting time limit). 8th storey...and I can still hear the music. And it started since before 9pm... Out of tune, off beat, English don't sound like English, traditional teochew song also got techno rhythm. Last time Cheng Shucheng (TCS veteran actor) can sing better. Haha, last time I used to listen to him, on cassette! Haha! But I must say, their sound system quite good. At least you can still hear the singer...not just the instrumentalists. The singer also quite power...can 'dong' (endure) for so long. Got good stamina, man. Good vibrato also. Sigh...now I know why the neighbours around my campus would complain when we hold our outdoor jam & hop. Well, I'm sure there's market for the kind of genre. I can use some grace and be more tolerant, I suppose. Ok ok...5 more minutes! Now they singing (direct translation - "One Stalk of Flower").

Have been trying in vain to re-allow comments on my entries...not that many would. But it's been interesting to see people from all over dropping by. Guess, the next most logical alternative is to use my tag box for comments. So I took this chance to have a new one. See how things go...but thanks in advance to those who bother. Appreciate your thoughts, really. For those who are reading my entries from my multiply site...if you've been following my earlier posts, you might know by now that I cross blog from my blogger account. What I post at blogger is automatically copied to my multiply blog unless I twig it to perform exceptions. So, anyways, the above change was applied to my blog site at bandaged-muso.blogspot.com. I prefer to pen down my thoughts at blogger because it records the time I begin writing. Multiply records post time. There's delay during the transfer though. Sometimes for a few hours. Oh well...blah blah...just wanna thank all those who have been tuning in!

Cell had potluck today (Fri, 15 Feb). Alright, we have to call it potbless...cos we don't believe in luck mah. So make a guess on the alternate name for lucky draw, haha...sometimes the point we try to make :P So each person brought something, and I bought 4 portions of our Salad Bar's grilled dory fillet with lemon butter sauce. As expected, it was the first to be emptied. After everyone had their fill, we had a short time of worship. One of the songs we sang just now was "People Need The Lord" (embedded here). This is a super old song that used to be a must-have during Christmas outreach. I remembered doing duet a few times at Orchard Road before. Those were the days... Anyway, at first it seemed like an inappropriate song for worship, since the targeted audience from the way the words were written is apparently not towards God. However, as I was singing, I'm reminded about how much people truly need the Lord. I need the Lord. Without Him, I am nothing. So if in

I find it hard to tolerate an attitude of can't-be-botheredness. It doesn't bother me if some total stranger act up this way, but from someone I know and laboured with, and for no particular reason... Ya, go ahead and tell me to deal with it (a.k.a. that's my problem!) But that can't be my modus operandi. Why bother trying so hard to build bridges somewhere with people who needs help, in the name of compassion, only to burn bridges elsewhere with others from whom acts of kindness have been received? Are we offering help to make ourselves feel good? Then it is not out of sincerity. Are we too prideful to appreciate others' kindness? It takes one with a big and humble heart to receive from others. While insisting our rights to privacy and not open up to explain our situations, we forfeit the rights to expect others to bear our rudeness while we are indulging in our circumstance. Everybody has problems in life. So we can't push our frustations on unsuspecting peopl

Love is an action word. Someone once told me, "you can give without loving, but you can't love without giving." Some people are more generous in sharing their love, while some make it a point not to show it at all. Naturally, it is easier to love someone who shows that they appreciate your love and attention. The opposite, of course, is a journey of a thousand heartaches. Unrequited love - I think the one who have experienced the most rejection is Jesus. I wish that those born on this day would feel especially loved, while those born during the rest of the year, that you're by no means less treasured by Jesus who laid down His life for you. From Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet , 1954: "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet..." A colleague received this bouquet sent to the office this morning. Notice the image printed on the petal of each rose. BLESSED VALENTINE'S DAY!

This afternoon we had an all-girls' steamboat lunch. We had fish wanton, shrimp wanton, fish cake tofu, white tofu, 2 types of vege, enoki mushrooms, fish fillet, chicken sausages, fuzhou fishballs, sotong cheese balls (taste better grilled). chicken balls. The menu's not exactly fantastic, if you ask me, cos we were on really low budget ($5 per pax). I think what we had at the National Day 07 steamboat with 3 of my band comm members at my house was more happening. Well, the company compensated for the humble spread...and know what? We used rice-cooker for the steamboat. Ahaha... Made reservation for Japanese buffet at Miramar Hotel's Ikoi Restaurant today for 28 Feb to celebrate my sister's birthday. Her actual day's 29 Feb so technically, she only get to celebrate it once in 4 years...so she's 10 years old this year. Hurhur... It's another all-girls' event, but this time with mom and 3 sisters. The JPSAE 'battle' is still going on, many events

Yep, all items checked and ready to go! Just when I was about to shut down my PC, my brother-in-law msn-invited me to his house for dinner. I have no meetings tonight, so I thought, why not? So I arranged to pick up my sister from Lobby D and we went to her house together. The power of wheels! Yay! Dinner was good. My brother-in-law served their homemade (actually made by his sister lah) hakka yong tau foo. Wah, got oysters the size of two fifty-cent coins - big and spread with a layer of seasoned minced pork. And the soup... on ya, I da bao some soup back...better go put it in the fridge first... oh no! It's in the trunk! Ok, brb! Phew...thank God I remembered. Otherwise, the soup's gonna stink the whole trunk. Ya, it's that potent. So before I left, I can't remember what we said but I suddenly remembered...hey, I can borrow their cooler box! Yep, and so now, I'm well-equipped for my picnic. Wah! Can't wait, man!!! PS: Tonight's crescent has a smile on it.

Well, it's Sunday today and I was not on duty. I thought it would be a good idea to go for a little recce trip before 10.30am Church service. So off I went to Marine Cove for MacD breakfast, and then to its 'backyard' to have a look-see. Well, I did like what I saw. Doesn't it look serene? This picture was taken around 9.26am. It was a little sunny, though the image's a bit darkened by the backlight. I think it would be ideal much earlier in the morning. Ever since I started thinking of getting my own set of wheels, I had my mind set on driving it to the beach for a little picnic to enjoy a bit of the morning seabreeze. A couple of must-have items to pack into the trunk - my foldable (director's) chair I bought from Perth the last time I was there for a semi-fishing trip and a cooler box for cold drinks. I'd probably bring a book for the season to read, or my notebook to...erm, there probably would be connection there...(dang!) well, maybe I'll process m

Third day. No, not the Christian Contemporary group, it's the 3rd day of CNY. Went visiting in the afternoon, drop a couple of people off on the way to my big aunt's house. Can't wish her happy new year due to her recent demise. Just greeted her with the usual, yet unique greetings, "zou san" (good morning in cantonese) and "hou lai lou" (the rain has come, in teochew). Don't know how these 2 phrases come about but I've been saying that whenever I see her, rain or shine, night or day. Now I'm just lazing on my bed, typing these words on my notebook. Was chased out of my comfy leather klippan sofa in the living room because my mom wanted to watch the 4.30pm TV drama. I was watching The Queen before she 'barged' into my space. Haha...oh, well, it's on DVD, can resume later. The character of Queen Elizabeth at the prevailing theme of the death and funeral of the late Diana reminded me of a behaviour which I had previously referred f

"The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell." Hell is certainly not where I want to live in for the rest of my eternity after I breathe my last, or anytime from now till then, I guess I can't expect less of any form of perturbations and pain in this package of love. I'm not sadistic when I say this, that I love to love you. Don't ask me why. I see your flaws and mine, I've wrung my heart, I've shed those uncontrollable tears. Yet there seems to be grace to keep you close to my heart, to leave it open for you, and to allow you to bring me places. Sometimes I wonder if you are God sent to mould my character and purify His love for me, in me, and through me. The knowledge of the reality in loving does not eliminate the pain. The pain isn't any less either with such knowledge. But it prepares me, and gives me the courage to be tenacious and press in when the going gets tough. Problem

I'm so happy with the realisation that things might not be what it seems. I choose to think that I'm overreacting. Today's CNY eve. Usually one would expect that the office people to be in a festive mood. But ironically, the half-day was predominantly occupied by a meeting on the deliberation on the JPSAE/DAE students who came for the trials, interviews and auditions during the past week. We were all vying for the limited number of spaces from the various academic courses. The arts, sports, leadership. So many talents, but very limited spaces. Even so, if only it were that simple an equation to derive at the final list to be presented to the schools for acceptance, we could all just key in the numbers and let the system run on its own. Obviously, how well the candidates performed on the spot and their past records were significant, but not the only, factors for consideration. Whatever the outcome, I think whoever gets in should be grateful for the gruesome number of hours a

Again I miss you. Perhaps you may never (get to) know the yearnings in my heart - those that I can only keep to myself. Yet I want so much for you to know. It's like a little child, so eager to run to her father to tell him everything. Well, actually, I wouldn't know how that feels. But I imagine the excitement to share with someone special with that need to be apprehended. I have so much to tell you. Not that you need to know. Why, I'm not even sure if you'd be interested. Many things with you seems to be on a need-to basis. I have so much I want to know about you. Sometimes you just seem so cold in your response. So minimal. Sometimes nothing... it just makes my heart ache. But I've learnt to take it in, lay it down, and let it go - my affections. I've learnt not to insist for more and take it at your pace, your style - takes quite an effort to hold back. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Sense and sensibility. It's a dilemma. As C S Lewis pu

It has been an eventful Saturday. I woke up rather early, considering it was a non-working day and that I do not have any appointment before rehearsal in Church at 6.30pm. I wanted to go back to sleep lah, but need to run errands...gotta get it done before HDB Bedok Branch closes at 1pm. Surprisingly, the queue was rather short when I reached there around 9.30am. In less than 10 mins, I got my season parking coupon and I was on my way home again. I remember thinking that this could be my last bus ride. Went MacD for late breakfast when my brother-in-law called and said he would pick me up to pick up his new car and then I can take over his. Woohoo! After the car was collected, we drove to a nearby place to transfer all the stuff from his old car to the new. Ok, it's kinda lame perhaps, but as I drove off, I felt like my status has changed - no, not the conceited kind, definitely. I felt a sense of independence. I guess being the youngest at home, I have been quite sheltered with al

Physical Touch Your primary language of love is physical touch. A hug or a touch on the shoulder can comfort you and show you how much a loved one cares for you. Especially when you're feeling down, physical touch more than anything else can cheer you up and bring you closer to loved ones. ----- Do you know how it's like to love someone who loves with a different language? I think I know. Whoever said anything about loving being easy? It just makes one more willing to make the effort to learn the beloved's love language and risk the pain that may come as a result of loving. What is your love language? Are you willing to learn a different language? Or would you only look for those who express in the same love language?