Serving God On His Terms

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." - Joshua 1:9

I believe that God, in His love and mercy, has used many events leading to this new year and led me in my thought processes to awaken my soul and spirit within me. After a month of determination to ensure I keep up with my #365, I am beginning to see the fruit of my labour. I feel I'm more sensitive to God's teaching at Kingdom Invasion (so much more than past three years'), and everything seems to be falling into place.

I guess my changing of job scope after 17.5 years was a step of faith that allowed me to cross over into a state of freedom and new beginnings. The kind that is the right thing to do at the opportune time. Not that I was dissatisfied with my work with my students. In fact, I feel that I still have that heart for youth development. The change was preparing me to become new wineskin for new things that God has been wanting to do in me and through me. It also allowed me to plunge into this journey of deeper relationship with Him.

Even the open door to join Awaken Generation's worship mentorship vocals programme was also a step of faith. It would have been more daunting had I not gone through the transfer which gave me better control of my time.

Even in my ministry, there seems to be a shift. I didn't ask to take over the leadership for Choir ministry but it was again the open door (and the need) that started the ball rolling for me to think hard about what kind of leader I need to be. I mean the right kind that would please the One I'm serving.

One thing led to another, I find myself facing the truth of who I have become. I have to admit that unconsciously, I might be treating people as resources rather than as relationships. Hence, the initial struggle of how I might not be able to lead the Choir well with the criteria to possess a pastoral heart. I don't think that I'm in a conscious mindset of making use of people. But I have to admit that I might have slipped into it without knowing, ever too keen to set people right about having the right attitude towards service. I could have turned all utilitarian to protect myself, and in learning to be firm in my judgment - differentiating between right from wrong, to uphold justice. And when it comes to the ministry, I wouldn't know how to treat the members if I have to bear with their lack of commitment when all I want is for the ministry to prosper and make an impact during worship.

However, the problem is...my Abba Father, the One I want to love and worship wholeheartedly, is all about relationships. It's unavoidable. He sacrificed His most irreplaceable and invaluable Son to redeem mankind. He valued people that much. So I must value them enough. How much is enough depends on how much I value Jesus Christ. And it has nothing with how others value me. It's not a one-to-one exchange because it's not about me. It's about God. If that's how He sees it, I can't be too defensive about protecting myself or how much I feel I might be shortchanged if I give more than them. Who am I to judge and compare? God is the best judge.

And in order to know how to value others, I need to understand how much He values me. Otherwise, how do I love my neighbours as myself? Sometimes that could be even more difficult because of my pride and lack of self-worth. I've come to realise that a person with strong pride or lack of humility might not mean that this person has high self-worth. The accurate measurement seems to be one's perception of who he or she is in the eyes of God. That accurate sense of value and security of His unconditional love is the formulae to true love and humility.

My new prophetic vision is to see people as relationships and not as resources. So how do I do that? The key is to know the Father's heart, to also have that same discernment to know what's right from wrong, good from evil that King Solomon was given when he asked of it from God.

My Father in heaven, I want to bring Your kingdom and rule onto this world You have created and let it function the way it was purposed. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Renew my mind, transform my heart, do whatever You need to, and bring my reality in line with Yours. Let Your truth liberate me to be fearless, even of my own weaknesses.

Let my abundant life on earth count before I go HOME. Holy Spirit, have Your way with me!