Bandaged Soul...so I can open my heart to you again.

I'm a happy girl today. Had worship rehearsal in the morning, team leaders' meeting straight after, and went IKEA to get some stuff for TP Band's visit to SAF Central Band. Just drove in to the car park when Peck and I was on the phone and we decided to have the BBQ at F2 East Coast Park like we talked about the last time I was there with them . I bought this 'lil instant BBQ pit (no kiddin', it's really little and I have photos to prove it!) at Giant after that, looking forward exactly to what we had today. If Peck had not instructed me not to bring anything (she just grabbed whatever barbequeable from her freezer, I would have detoured home to retrieve my box of bacon-wrapped oyster that I had prepared a few days ago. I find it amazing that Peck would drive all the way from Bukit Panjang to this part of the island to let her kids indulge in sand play. I wonder when the kids will grow out of this. But as long as they are still at it, I would like to be a part o...

When you fall, don't stay down and let the devil win, because you are a child of the Most High God! "These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” - John 16:33

It's a little stressful at the office today. But this video made me laugh.

Have you ever felt so broken inside that you couldn't cry even if you try? It would be better if you could find release through streams of tears. So when that doesn't happen, everything just gets choked up inside like a lump in the center of your chest - a constant pain going deeper and deeper, taking more effort to even work it out into a groan. When it gets easier, you wonder if it's good or bad. It's so tiring to try again, and again, only to realise that all the hard work seems to just lead to a series of failures. It's an emotional roller coaster when you work on a relationship like a blind person, feeling your way through the unspoken rules you didn't set. And your own rules? They are non-existent because they are easily broken with the fear of losing someone you treasure. Just when you think you hit the right switch, the bulb blew in your face... again. Of course I have learnt to deal with it by making the choice not to be affected. Yet I feel that by do...

Here I am, again, chilling out at The Olives after 2nd Service and a 2pm meeting with Fiona and Aili to discuss contents of vocal workshop for the Worship Ministry Worship Vocalists. So I finally went to watch the movie - Okuribito (English title - Departures). Embedded is a piece of music of the same name by Joe Hisaishi. The melody has a calming effect, especially so with the accompaniment on the piano - the chords beneath bring out the melody line so beautifully. It gives me a combined sense of contentment/resolve and serenity. Okuribito - 久石譲 I also found the music video of the soundtrack with vocals. Nice arrangement, with a wider variation in the mood, and soothing alto voice of this singer called Ai. It's a 4.5/5 tissue box score movie for me. Makes me think of how I want to live my life, and how I want to love those who are important to me while they are still alive.

Micaela's Aria - "Je dis que rien ne m'épouvante" - Kiri Te Kanawa (Click here if you can't see the YouTube video.) Was at St Hilda's Band Camp on Wednesday with my manager, Sonny Lim, who was invited to speak about the music that they were playing for SYF. He told them the story of Georges Bizet's opera, Carmen and explained the story according to the different segments arranged in the CD. Though the music was not in chronological order, but based on what he said, I could visualize how the story went and was particularly attracted by the character, Micaela, and her love for the dumb mule (haha) who fell in love with Carmen. I had to hold back my tears at the segment where Micaela's aria was played. Now that I finally know the full story of Carmen, I feel like watching it. I'm still craving for Popeyes' biscuits. Probably end up at Singapore Flyers the next time I go MSq. Oh...I might be going there this Saturday after all! See if I can drive...

The Trouble With Being a Winner A short article by Ron Hutchcraft Even with all the scandals we hear about on the news, I thought this one was particularly stunning: the governor of a large state, arrested by the U. S. Attorney for what he described as "a corruption crime spree." The charges included allegations of seeking bribes in choosing someone to fill President Obama's Senate seat, bribes for state jobs and contracts, attempting to intimidate a newspaper into firing reporters who were critical of him. This one seemed really over the top! Chuck Colson knows about abusing power and paying for it. He spent time in prison for his corruption-related activities in the Nixon administration. He said the Governor of Illinois had the same cancer that has brought down so many successful people. Colson called it the "spiritual cancer" of pride. I’m Ron Hutchcraft, and Chuck Colson's insight on this story are, or should be, convicting for many of us. He said of the...

It's been such a long time since I last shared at my fortnightly prison visit that this batch would not have heard from me before. I've been telling my group members that this is not what I've signed up for when I entered this ministry...that was like, what, 5 years ago? I have this phobia about sharing God's word. It's like, what if I teach the wrong thing? There was once I even bailed out last minute. But this time...couldn't seem to get away from it when I was asked 2 weeks ago to take the sharing. I was promised help if I need it and was also convinced that I shouldn't keep putting off what I should eventually progress towards. Today came. How everything came together was nothing less than God's grace. I prayed, God answered. I got the topic, did a bit of search in the Bible, asked a few people questions to get some ideas and inspiration, and finally came out with the notes for this afternoon. The topic - 'Grace'. How apt. The past 2 weeks h...

OMGosh...my back is aching! Well, as expected lah. Went for a facial spa and body scrub with my colleague, Fayanne yesterday afternoon... as a 'friend' for this exclusion promotion under her credit card. It was supposed to be a pampering treat. But for people like me, who has a low pain threshold, I think it's not value for money. Cuz I'd either be laughing away or all tensed up in anticipation of the pain. The laughing part probably releases the tension...and that's about it. One thing I know for sure, I'd definitely not want to park at Orchard Hotel again. It was a weekday and the first hour costs $4, and $1.50 for subsequent half hour!!! Wah, thank God they sell this 4-hour ticket at $4.80. We were there early so plus the whole treatment, I paid another $1 more. I would have to pay $14 plus if not for that ticket! Faint... After the treatment it was MSq Xin Wang for dinner and some shopping. Today I tried this red bean ice. Wah, super nice. Gotta have that ag...

So it was another movie with Kenneth. We wanted to watch "He's Just Not That Into You" since like last week, oh but, so many movies, so little time...haha. We watched Slumpdog Millionaire a few days ago with Hilyah at Great World City. My second time there for a movie, and still, didn't get to shop much cuz it was quite late after the show. Next time must make it a point to go for a later show so I can jalan-jalan before that. Not that I have a lot of things to buy, but I just want to explore that place. And I thought the Long Service Award performance was going to be a cruise. Well, it is lah, technically. Just that overall, there were more practices than expected. Nevertheless, it was still fun. We were so on that we decided to do a surprise number and we're going to get them to sing along. Seldom get to be on the same stage with my sister. She's not singing, but will be emcee-ing at the event tomorrow. Hope the rest of the awardees and Directors and PCEO en...

3 new areas of replacements today. First, 2 new temp staff in the office. The band replaced the old cabinets with 3 new ones. My house fridge has been replaced...finally. Now I know that when you bring in a new fridge, you should let it stand for 2 hours without turning it on. So we waited till about an hour ago. The turning on was delayed because mom hasn't finished organizing her stuff and didn't want to keep opening and closing the fridge door. Now, whatever we put in are still not cold enough and the ice not frozen up yet. I'm dying for some ice cold water. I haven't had my daily dosage. :P~ Long Service Award this Thursday. 2 weeks ago HR called me for a meeting with a few other recipients to come up with a performance item. So stupid. I told my sister (who's in our HR) exactly how I felt. I thought those receiving the awards should be honoured. Why make us perform to entertain people? As if our performing talent is part of our job and the reason why we are rec...

This morning I was moved by Pastor Yang's message. The praise and worship hit home for me and prepared me for His word. This is the song that did it for me. It reminded me of His faithfulness, and I was overwhelmed by His love all these years since I became more conscious of my faith. Crying makes me feel so tired... and sometimes it makes me emotional the whole day. Get a grip! Anywayz, hope you'd be ministered by this song... :) God Of My Forever - City Harvest Church GOD OF MY FOREVER by Gan KC VERSE 1: God of my youth, I remember Your call on my life took me o’er Your love has seen me through all my days I stand here by Your grace On this altar I’ve written my life Tells of a story I have with You, my Lord I want the world to know CHORUS: God of my forever And forever I’m with You My life is saved with a price Your sacrifice redeemed my soul God of my forever And forever I will sing My greatest honour will always be To serve my Lord and King VERSE 2: God of my all, I’ve sur...

I recently have this fascination about rice paper wrap. It's fun to use and the texture when you chew on it gives a really nice '口感'. Here's a picture of what I made last night for dinner. Ok, it certainly doesn't look like how it should be, according to the picture next to my dish. I didn't have all the ingredients like veg, mint leaves etc...just meat bits. It would be more colourful and look more appealing otherwise. I quite like Thai and Vietnamese cuisine, mainly because they use fish sauce for their dish. I kinda grew up with fish sauce. There are some stuff where you gotta have that. Like fishball noodle...it's just not the same without it. If a fishball noodle stall uses soya sauce, well, I don't know, just doesn't seem as appealing. I think the only time I would willingly dip my food into soya sauce is when I'm going Jap. So I went to this clearance sale during lunchtime at Changi Airport. Bought some stuff I didn't think I would... ...

From Ashes To Beauty By The Vine Band VERSE: The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord Is on me now To love, to speak, to heal, to preach The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord Is on me now Giving life PRE-CHORUS: You turn ashes to beauty Mourning to dancing Anguish to songs of praise CHORUS: Pour Your Spirit over me Let Your love rain down Won't You take these hands of mine And use me Pour Your Spirit over me Let Your love rain down Would You take these feet of mine And lead me BRIDGE: You lead me to the poor That’s where You are You lead me to the weak That’s where You are You lead me to the lost That’s where You are Lord I want to be Where You are I need inspiration for a change in my life. For health reasons - physical, mental and spiritual - for the purpose of a greater consecration. Be a new wine skin for the new wine that God is pouring down and allow God to use me and to multiply the 'talents' he has entrusted me with. A change in lifestyle. I need responsible words of advice, en...

I'm now using this application on my iPod Touch to blog. Well, it's another quiet afternoon in the office. I was supposed to have lunch with my student, Nigel to talk about some stuff. Ended up not eating there, but packed some stirfry veg with sliced beef instead. Now I'm toying with the idea of home-cooking my lunch and maybe make sandwiches for breakfast. But a big too much, too soon. May backfire. See how...back to work! This application is a big lag. I think they need to fix some bugs in the editing function and landscape view. -- Post From My iPod Touch

Sorry for those who don't read Chinese... 所謂的曾經，就是幸福 中午，我站在學校大門口當交通導護，幫助一年級的小朋友放學。 卓新勇的母親，悄手悄腳提著一個便當在校門口。 被我一喊，她露出不好意思的表情。 「老師啊！．．．」 「哎呀！我不是跟妳講了嗎？學校不喜歡家長替孩子送便當。 如果每個媽媽都像妳這樣，學校大門就擠滿了人，那樣，我們怎麼放學呢？」 「我知道！我知道！」哼！知道了還送，簡直是明知故犯。 「妳不會讓他自己帶便當嗎！」 「我知道！我知道！」這些話，不曉得說了幾次。 每次一到中午，送便當的家長和放學的一年級小朋友，常常相撞在一起，造成相當的困擾。 卓新勇是一位沈默寡言，乖巧內向的孩子。 有次上課，他竟然打瞌睡，我很訝異，把他叫起來。 「怎麼了？」他一臉迷惘站起來，不回答。 第二天上課，也是這樣，我實在受不了，狠狠地把他叫過來。 「你到底怎麼了？」 我已經氣得半死，口氣已經控制不住。 突然，他垂頭淌下淚水。我暗自一驚。 「說呀！到底為什麼上課要打瞌睡呢？」 我媽媽住院了！昨天一直在醫院陪她。」 我一聽愣住了，頓時，心中的怒氣消失了，代之而起的是無限慚愧，「她為什麼住院呢？」 「是肺癌！」我一聽，心都涼到腳底。 心中想到身體贏弱的卓新勇。 如果，不幸那天來臨，他將如何繼續往後漫長的歲月呢？ 想到這兒，不禁鼻酸。吃飯時，妻子在餵兒子吃飯， 我不禁想起，以前卓新勇的母親偷偷摸摸替他送便當。 第二天下班後，我騎著機車到醫院探望他母親。 幾個禮拜沒見，卓新勇的母親瘦得不成人形，蒼白的臉，光禿的頭，簡直不敢相信就是她。 她看到我，顯得很驚訝，努力想站起來，但是，一咳嗽，整個人歪了一邊。 「不要站起來！不要站起來！」 「老師！謝﹍﹍謝謝你！」她吃力喊著，眼眶消出淚水。 在醫院的走廊，卓新勇的父親對我說：「只剩下兩個月了！嗚！我﹍真的不知要怎麼辦？」他老淚縱橫。 回到學校，報告校長。 「他爸爸已經六十多歲了，現在母親又將離開人間，是不是我們可以發動全校募款。不管多少，都可以幫助他。」校長爽快答應。 經過幾天募款活動，我們總算募到五萬二千一百二十元。 把錢送到醫院時，卓新勇的母親已經在昏迷中。 「我們準備今天送他回家！」卓新勇的父親，臉形憔悴得發白。我一聽，心頭抽搐一陣。 「老師！能不能幫個忙？」 「請說！我能夠做到的，我一定答...

My lunch partner just got 'abducted' for some official matter, leaving me with a bit of extra time before the full hour break is up to do some blogging. I like this time of the day because the office is usually quiet. Yesterday was rather eventful. Went for a workshop in the morning on 'Enhancing Your Facilitation Skills'. The content in the 2-hour session was mainly on effective listening and questioning. Nothing new to me, but it was a good refresher course. Sometimes we need to get back to the basics. A chinese character ' 聽 ' (traditional stroke for the English equivalent of 'listen) was used to describe how one should listen. This character is made up of a few individual chinese character - '耳', '王', '十', '目', '一' and, '心' (ear, king, ten, sight, one, and heart). I remember my sister, Mui Hong, once told me that the compound character describes listening as: to be a good king, one needs to listen, not just...

So I don't need to go all the way to the beach to scream after all. Thanks to Kenneth, who suggested I scream IN the reservoir just at the 'backyard' of my workplace -.-" Well, I didn't go diving this afternoon. But I did get myself high on McD's somewhat new Cadbury Black Forest McFlurry when I drove opposite to collect my dry cleaning. And since I was already there, I decided to get my all time favourite burger, the good old double cheese (w/o onion and ketchup). Again, I parked myself at my favourite spot - the coach parking area opposite the Sports Complex, and cool myself down under the shades with the palatables. With a little quietness from within, a short phone call, I resolved the issue and see no need to drown anybody in the reservoir tonight... ahaha! But the initial thought of the beach came back. The sun (with the clouds, please), sand, and sea are beckoning. Last Saturday, my eldest sis, Peck Hong, invited me to join the twins at East Coast Park. ...

"Can I say something, and you don't be angry?" "Eh, I tell you something, can? But promise me you won't be upset hor? You cannot be upset, k?" CANNOT. What would be your respond to this kind of questions/requests? What kind of a disclaimer is this? You mean you're not going to be responsible for what you say? And you expect me to say, "Okay"!?? If you think it's going to upset me or make me angry, then don't ask. And if you think I would be upset with the information, why are you saying it in front of other people? And, plus you're not allowing me my rights to my feelings? That's not very nice, is it? So what's your point? What are you going to do about the information you just downloaded on me? If it's a problem you think I have, are you willing to take time with me to help me solve it? If it's that important to me, don't say it like a passing remark and just walk away. Or is it just YOUR point you're trying...

Why is it that when I try to say something to someone that means a lot to me about, the message just doesn't seem to come out right. It's like I want everything to be perfect, but then, some words would come out and spoil the whole thing. And on hindsight, I start thinking about the should have's and what not. Yet I find it even harder to rectify now. Insecurities... self-doubts... thinking too much. Much to my own detriment. Ok, the above were some random thoughts. Just less than 6 hours ago, I finished magic-cleaning my floor! First dry, then wet. The feeling after a release of free-flow perspiration brought much shiok-ness physically. A sense of satisfaction, no doubt, that I really got into the dreadful chores. It's an achievement! Haha... I love gliding the back of my hand on my face after a gentle facial scrub, followed by an application of clay mask. So clean and smooth. Still feels it now - the morning after. Shiok-a-dom!!! Anyway, had a good time at Ivan's ...