My Role Model Of Faithfulness
Was going through an old album I put together quite a while ago of pictures taken mostly when I was around 2 years old. I don't know how it ended up at my sister's at Choa Chu Kang. The families were there to celebrate one of my nieces' birthday when my eldest niece, Jiahui, brought it out for me. Originally mine, yet I had to convince her to let me take home to scan the pictures. Hopefully she would forget about it, haha...evil aunt.
Anyway, my eldest sister came over this afternoon and so I showed it to her. She exclaimed how cute I was (you mean now not cute meh? diao...) and commented on how young Mom was in this picture:
Mom was half a decade younger then the current me in this picture. Can you imagine me having 5 children, or anybody for that matter? Gosh... There was a period in our past where there was a really tough period for her because she almost had to keep things up single-handedly. Mom had never gone to school and that made it even more difficult with the kind of job offerings she could get. But everything she lacked, she put in double in hardwork and prudent spending. It's amazing how much she has achieved with the little she had. She was determined to put us through the education system, and made sure our needs were taken care of, even to this day after all my siblings have their own family.
As I recall whatever little I can remember about what Mom had to go through for us kids, my heart melts. I know we were not well-off then cos we were staying in a studio apartment* (it has such a posh name nowadays). Sometimes my sibings or my mom would tell me stories of how everyone had to help out to make ends meet.
I was too little to be of much help and wouldn't understand the situation even if I could remember them. So I was sheltered from the knowledge of our situation. All I know is that Mom saw me through all the phases of my life, bending herself to ensure my needs were met. I think I'm probably the one who gives her the most to worry about and the most heartaches, even now. Perhaps that explains the constant need to have that sense of independence all these while. Yet by doing that, I sometimes shut her off or get easily tensed up at her nagging. Hmmm...
I used to worry that I was not a good testimony at home and it got me desperate on many occasions to lift up her salvation to God. God has a way of making us get to our knees. Hence, the biggest relief I have about Mom is that she's accepted Christ and it was a deep honour that I prayed with her to receive Jesus into her life. I believe it's God's way of encouraging me and releasing me off any guilt within me, and at the same time teaching me that "it's not by might, not by power, but by His Spirit".
I don't think I would ever be able to measure up to be like her. I've come to realise that God did not make us, and place us on this earth to live up to another person's expectations. It took me awhile to figure that out and it was very liberating. We all have our own cross to carry, our own destiny to fulfill, and we are to complete this earthly journey focusing on, and depending on God's strength. We were made to worship Him and created for His pleasure. Get this rooted and the striving would cease. I just hope that I would be able to catch her spirit in the virtues of giving, prudent spending, practical love and faithfulness.
Currently, one of the above is lacking very far behind the rest. I'm sure that before CNY, this one would be my new resolution for the year. ZZZzzzz...
*Studio apartment is a self-contained, small rental apartment, which combines living and bedroom into a single unit, and sometimes has a kitchen.
Anyway, my eldest sister came over this afternoon and so I showed it to her. She exclaimed how cute I was (you mean now not cute meh? diao...) and commented on how young Mom was in this picture:
Mom was half a decade younger then the current me in this picture. Can you imagine me having 5 children, or anybody for that matter? Gosh... There was a period in our past where there was a really tough period for her because she almost had to keep things up single-handedly. Mom had never gone to school and that made it even more difficult with the kind of job offerings she could get. But everything she lacked, she put in double in hardwork and prudent spending. It's amazing how much she has achieved with the little she had. She was determined to put us through the education system, and made sure our needs were taken care of, even to this day after all my siblings have their own family.
As I recall whatever little I can remember about what Mom had to go through for us kids, my heart melts. I know we were not well-off then cos we were staying in a studio apartment* (it has such a posh name nowadays). Sometimes my sibings or my mom would tell me stories of how everyone had to help out to make ends meet.
I was too little to be of much help and wouldn't understand the situation even if I could remember them. So I was sheltered from the knowledge of our situation. All I know is that Mom saw me through all the phases of my life, bending herself to ensure my needs were met. I think I'm probably the one who gives her the most to worry about and the most heartaches, even now. Perhaps that explains the constant need to have that sense of independence all these while. Yet by doing that, I sometimes shut her off or get easily tensed up at her nagging. Hmmm...
I used to worry that I was not a good testimony at home and it got me desperate on many occasions to lift up her salvation to God. God has a way of making us get to our knees. Hence, the biggest relief I have about Mom is that she's accepted Christ and it was a deep honour that I prayed with her to receive Jesus into her life. I believe it's God's way of encouraging me and releasing me off any guilt within me, and at the same time teaching me that "it's not by might, not by power, but by His Spirit".
I don't think I would ever be able to measure up to be like her. I've come to realise that God did not make us, and place us on this earth to live up to another person's expectations. It took me awhile to figure that out and it was very liberating. We all have our own cross to carry, our own destiny to fulfill, and we are to complete this earthly journey focusing on, and depending on God's strength. We were made to worship Him and created for His pleasure. Get this rooted and the striving would cease. I just hope that I would be able to catch her spirit in the virtues of giving, prudent spending, practical love and faithfulness.
Currently, one of the above is lacking very far behind the rest. I'm sure that before CNY, this one would be my new resolution for the year. ZZZzzzz...
*Studio apartment is a self-contained, small rental apartment, which combines living and bedroom into a single unit, and sometimes has a kitchen.
