Lost And...To Be Found
Thank God for sms. I'm having such a bad throat that even I find myself irritating to listen to. My voice sounds so hoarse (having a vocal tone characterized by weakness of intensity and excessive breathiness; husky). I can't speak a proper sentence without at least one word with just air and no sound. So I'm losing my voice.
I should have been on MC on Monday but due to rehearsals past 2 days, have to "dong" until today. Badly need to rest my voice and get enough sleep. Monday's rehearsal finished super late and with packing up and rushing out of the lucky draw coupon design, we only managed to step out of the office around 2am. Waited a long time for the cab, too.
Last night's heavy down pour made completing the rehearsal impossible, so we had to pack up with 3 items left unrehearsed. Even so, I left the office around 11 plus and only managed to get a cab just at midnight.
Actually my part was done before 11 but I was online trying to deal with an online seller on this item I wanted to buy. I didn't feel very safe committing so I asked a lot of questions. The seller sounded desperate, kept asking "ok? ok? ok?" He was even willing to let me commit half the price and pay the balance after I receive the product. Well, I still didn't feel totally assured because it's an overseas supplier. Half the price amounts to $200+ and it was still a lot down the drain if that fella doesn't intend to keep to his part of the deal. Plus I had to go to some Western Union bank to do a transfer, get required info and then email the supplier before they would ship my item over. A bit "leh cheh", considering this is my peak period, and plus it's not a real need, just a needing want. So I've decided to hold my horses and wait for a local seller with face-to-face transaction.
Anyway, I left before the rest of the girls cos one kept insisting that I should go home to rest, as I'm sick. After repeated nagging and my wrapping up with the above online supplier, I shut down my PC and walked out to get a cab.
And I remember so vividly that as I was walking out to the road, the journey felt extremely lonely. The floor was filled with large puddles threatening to cause a flood. I couldn't see very far ahead and I was holding on tightly to this big umbrella that later leaked through the seams when I was standing and waiting. The raindrops came in big, noisy splatters.
As I walked down the stairs from the Plaza and along the sheltered route towards the drop off point, I felt a tinge of loneliness and I remember thinking it would be nice to have this someone that I could walk with. The rather frequent thunder and lightning admist the pouring rain would have become negligible. I have walked quite a bit with this person since we crossed paths, sometimes in sadness, sometimes in bliss, but never in fear. But it was a fleeting moment of insecurity which was quickly covered by an assurance of God's presence that He would never leave me.
Oh the rain and the storm, and life's struggles. Being in them can often create a sense of aloneness. Yet how we feel does not change the truth about God's faithfulness. At such time, truly, it's my perception that needs adjusting. The feeling may be so real, it clouds the truth somehow. This is when one's faith needs to arise to trust in God's promises and faithfulness to keep to His words that nothing can separate us from His love, and that He who watches over us neither slumber nor sleep.
Strangely, this morning I dreamt of an old friend who came by to visit me at the office recently. In this dream, we walked together, side by side, hand in hand, and we went from one place to another with no agenda, just mutually enjoying each other's company. I haven't had that kind of walk for a long time. I can't even remember when it last happened. I gotta find it again.
I think I miss Jesus.
Every "yes" to you carries a hope that it might convey an assurance - I will be there when you need me.
I should have been on MC on Monday but due to rehearsals past 2 days, have to "dong" until today. Badly need to rest my voice and get enough sleep. Monday's rehearsal finished super late and with packing up and rushing out of the lucky draw coupon design, we only managed to step out of the office around 2am. Waited a long time for the cab, too.
Last night's heavy down pour made completing the rehearsal impossible, so we had to pack up with 3 items left unrehearsed. Even so, I left the office around 11 plus and only managed to get a cab just at midnight.
Actually my part was done before 11 but I was online trying to deal with an online seller on this item I wanted to buy. I didn't feel very safe committing so I asked a lot of questions. The seller sounded desperate, kept asking "ok? ok? ok?" He was even willing to let me commit half the price and pay the balance after I receive the product. Well, I still didn't feel totally assured because it's an overseas supplier. Half the price amounts to $200+ and it was still a lot down the drain if that fella doesn't intend to keep to his part of the deal. Plus I had to go to some Western Union bank to do a transfer, get required info and then email the supplier before they would ship my item over. A bit "leh cheh", considering this is my peak period, and plus it's not a real need, just a needing want. So I've decided to hold my horses and wait for a local seller with face-to-face transaction.
Anyway, I left before the rest of the girls cos one kept insisting that I should go home to rest, as I'm sick. After repeated nagging and my wrapping up with the above online supplier, I shut down my PC and walked out to get a cab.
And I remember so vividly that as I was walking out to the road, the journey felt extremely lonely. The floor was filled with large puddles threatening to cause a flood. I couldn't see very far ahead and I was holding on tightly to this big umbrella that later leaked through the seams when I was standing and waiting. The raindrops came in big, noisy splatters.
As I walked down the stairs from the Plaza and along the sheltered route towards the drop off point, I felt a tinge of loneliness and I remember thinking it would be nice to have this someone that I could walk with. The rather frequent thunder and lightning admist the pouring rain would have become negligible. I have walked quite a bit with this person since we crossed paths, sometimes in sadness, sometimes in bliss, but never in fear. But it was a fleeting moment of insecurity which was quickly covered by an assurance of God's presence that He would never leave me.
Oh the rain and the storm, and life's struggles. Being in them can often create a sense of aloneness. Yet how we feel does not change the truth about God's faithfulness. At such time, truly, it's my perception that needs adjusting. The feeling may be so real, it clouds the truth somehow. This is when one's faith needs to arise to trust in God's promises and faithfulness to keep to His words that nothing can separate us from His love, and that He who watches over us neither slumber nor sleep.
Strangely, this morning I dreamt of an old friend who came by to visit me at the office recently. In this dream, we walked together, side by side, hand in hand, and we went from one place to another with no agenda, just mutually enjoying each other's company. I haven't had that kind of walk for a long time. I can't even remember when it last happened. I gotta find it again.
I think I miss Jesus.
Every "yes" to you carries a hope that it might convey an assurance - I will be there when you need me.
