Dad's Fall

I'm so glad dad's ok. Falling down from a high chair at his age is no joke. Anything can happen. When I read Peck's sms, the first thing that came to me was guilt. All I could think of was that I shouldn't have told mom to call him to fix the living room light, which was probably the cause of the semi lights out at home since last night. But that one has been flickering for a few days.

Mui rushed down from the office first and brought him to the clinic downstairs and Peck drove down from Bukit Panjang. Where was I? I was in the office working and my phone was in my bag...in silent mode. When I got back, Peck and Mui were already waiting for the medicine at the clinic counter. Dad was sitting on the bench with bandage around his head.

My heart is still in a sunken mode. I'm thinking about the small pool of blood on the floor that came from his head. I pray that it's just external injury. I wanted to say sorry, but I knew I would cry if I said it. I did manage to utter it as I send him off at the door. Peck drove him back.

Sorry, Pa. You'll never have to do this kind of thing again. I forgot that you are already 71. I feel so helpless, undependable.

I was just asking a couple of friends over last weekend this random question, "do you think I'll make a good mother?" Right now, I'd rather not know.