Bandaged Soul...so I can open my heart to you again.

My insomnia is back again. Was in school till past midnight as I needed to use my office PC to do some online course due end of the month. At the last stretch of 75% mark I couldn't take it already. My heavy eyelids were making it counter productive so I decided to head home. A couple more nights for me to finish this and another module. I find the subject rather interesting amidst my tiredness. Leadership Without Authority - kinda challenges people to take up leadership position in attitude and action without having authority formally bestowed upon them. Sadly, it reminded me of people who had been officially appointed but not fulfilling their duties. Chest-pounding, blood-vomitting experience. Yet, reviewing the status is easier said than done. But funny how I'm reminded from the module that having integrity would demand that we do what is right, even though it might be unpleasant to have to cut people off. Is there no other way? Yet, it can't be avoided, in the name of f...

My car battery went flat on Friday cuz I forgot to turn off the headlights in the morning...it was on because of a dim rainy morning in case you're asking. Thank God help was quite readily available. Then I went shopping at Giant yesterday evening and tripped over a parking brick at the car park when I was transferring the last item from the trolley to the passenger seat. The trip turned into a fall and so there's a bit of abrasion on both knees. The fall happened so fast I can't even remember how I bruised my left cheek and left arm. So I sprained my right foot and I'm now house-ridden (AGAIN!) moving around in my swivel chair. House-visited by the sinseh a couple of hours ago so now my foot is all wrapped up. I'm surprised how I managed to lug my bag, laptop and the perishables up to my house.,,which is not on lift-landing, by the way. And there were a few occasions on the way home that I had to use my left foot to help step on the brakes. Hope I can at least limp...

Going to a Jazz concert brings back memories of the once upon a very short period where I used to frequent this place - Jazz@Southbridge . A quick google tells me that this place is still up and running. Contemplating perhaps I should visit it again one day. But got to wait for next pay day at least. Now indoors are smoke free, it'll be more enjoyable. The music there's quite decent. Not sure how it's like now, though. Anyway, back to the free Jazz Concert I just went for at Singapore Conference Hall with Cat, Fay, Sheena, Celine and Hon Choo. The featured was a 5-piece band: Lead/Acoustic Guitarist - Isao Miyoshi (Jap), Double Bass/Bass Guitar - Shigeki Ippon (Jap), Drums - Hiroyuki Noritake (Jap), Piano/Keyboard - Tay Cher Siang (M'sian), and Sax - Koh Mr Saxman (Thai). They're named "Unit Asia". According to the programme, the band was formed especially for this project initiated by the 3 Japs, joined by the other 2. Except for one song, the rest of the...

Here's the actual colour of the poster...

Looks like everyone's really blasting TP Band Concert. Guess I shall do the same, since I'm the in-charge...haha! So here it is! Oh...the colours are so different! The orange part has turned blue!... Aiya, nevermind lah. Anyway, the fine prints below supposed to tell you that the tickets are available at One-stop Service Centre on campus. $8. And there's a mystery gift at the door while stock last. So the band kids are going to have their publicity event on 29 Oct 08 at TP Plaza (outside library). There's one more thing that needs to be mentioned here. For the first time, they're going to feature a full section ensemble in the concert, and there's another publicity event on 5 Nov 08 of the clarinet ensemble at TP Library Podium...glad to say that it's also the very first the band has ever done. Both are lunchtime performances, by the way. Speaking of the Podium, I was there yesterday afternoon because T'ang Quartet was performing. It was rather enjoyable...

So I went IKEA yesterday after prison visit to get a frame for a picture of Temasek Polytechnic Band taken with the President and the First Lady after the Istana Open House performance on 1 Oct 08. This one was originally cardboard-framed, and the picture was signed and delivered from the President's Office to mine last Friday. Took me half an hour to get the photo out cos it was slightly glued in the centre. Thank God it came out fine without tearing somebody's face out, and the centre happened to be one of the VIPs. Ta da!!!... Hmmm...put where, put where???

I seem to have lost the momentum to blog and msn nowadays. After an episode of very discouraging conversation, I must say I was quite affected. It left me speechless in more ways than one. There were several things that I wanted to do and say, but I was almost immediately smacked in the face with all the "what's the point?" I wouldn't say that I have resolved it totally, though it's not like I don't want to lay it down. Yes, I've chosen to be hurt, and I allowed myself to dwell in it for awhile, maybe longer than I should. It has been a prolonged period of pain. I've forgiven. I have to. But I think what I'm dealing with is the doubts I have about a friendship in terms of how much, or how little, I am valued (if I'm at all valued). It probably sounds silly, really, and I can imagine that it may even seem insulting if my doubts were unfounded. But I can't help it. I cried about it, prayed about it, and I believe God has brought me through th...

Proverbs 6:1-5 Dangerous Promises 1 My son, if you become surety for your friend, if you have shaken hands in pledge for a stranger, 2 you are snared by the words of your mouth; you are taken by the words of your mouth. 3 So do this, my son, and deliver yourself; for you have come into the hand of your friend: Go and humble yourself; plead with your friend. 4 Give no sleep to your eyes, nor slumber to your eyelids. 5 Deliver yourself like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, and like a bird from the hand of the fowler. Proverbs 11:15 He who is surety for a stranger will suffer, but one who hates being surety is secure. Proverbs 17:18 A man devoid of understanding shakes hands in a pledge, and becomes surety for his friend. Proverbs 22:26 Do not be one of those who shakes hands in a pledge, one of those who is surety for debts... I met up with 2 friends yesterday who had jointly gotten themselves into being guarantors for a friend's 10K loan. It's a friend they trusted, one wh...

So I was waiting for my dinner date at T2's Fish & Co. yesterday, during which I was looking around at the interior decor when I gazed up and saw this gross-looking lamp hanging from the ceiling right above my table. I do appreciate the fact that the design's quite apt considering that it's a seafood joint. But somehow it gave me the goose bumps. Don't ask me why. Well, other than that, the place was a bit noisy when the bar started blending some beverage...and irritating when the staff did their birthday thing for celebrating customers. 3 times for the duration I was there. It's like the Kuishin-Bo jingle, but done 'live'. Good food and great company made up for the downsides. So me and TP Band went to Istana on Wednesday for their 45-min 'National Service'. Thank God the DV Camera I brought was supposedly unstable which led me call for a back-up. Know why? When the band started playing, I was told that when the President come by to watch the pe...

Only Hope By Switchfoot Sung By Mandy Moore From The Movie - A Walk To Remember Only Hope - Mandy Moore There's a song that's inside of my soul It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again I'm awake in the infinite cold But You sing to me over and over and over again So I lay my head back down And I lift my hands and pray To be only Yours I pray to be only Yours I know now You're my only hope Sing to me the song of the stars Of Your galaxy dancing and laughing And laughing again When it feels like my dreams so far Sing to me of the plans That You have for me over again So I lay my head back down And I lift my hands and pray To be only Yours I pray to be only Yours I know now You're my only hope I give You my destiny I'm giving You all of me I want Your symphony Singing in all that I am At the top of my lungs I'm giving it back So I lay my head back down And I lift my hands and pray To be only Yours I pray to be only Yours I pray to be on...

Happy Children's Day Happy Birthday to my eldest sister Selamat Hari Raya ...and all the best to TP Band performing for Istana Open House later in the afternoon! It's going to be a happy day, I suppose, though I'm neither celebrating any of the above except having to work on a public holiday. No, no, no...I'm not complaining. I know it's going to be a fun day doing stuff with the big kids. The first-time opportunity is something worth celebrating. But it's still a fact that I'm working on a public holiday, as much as it is a fact that it's a day I'm looking forward to :) So I find myself waking up early in the morning, anxious to pray and ask Abba Father to do something that only He can do... grant favour for a cooling but no-rain afternoon. Need much faith, seeing the previous few day's weather is nothing assuring. And for smooth traffic on the way, everything pretty, pretty... Me and the band have done what we can to prepare for the performance...

Last night my eldest sister asked if I would like to hang out since she and the kids are staying over. She suggested watching the movie - Mamma Mia! Well, I've watched it already but I didn't mind a second go at it. So I bought the Saturday night tickets online after I got home from Saturday Service and used my HSBC prepaid movie pass to pay for it, at $7.50 per tickets. And they were valued at $10 last night. Not bad right? So she managed to convince the twins not to tag along and we headed for our 9.30pm show at GV Tampines. My sister is a fan of ABBA. I'm a bit of the same but not crazy over it. I just love dancing to the fast numbers and I enjoyed the harmonies. I think the most hilarious movie moments were the scene with this song: Take a Chance on Me - ABBA I feel that this is a movie that an ABBA fan won't mind watching it over and over again. Importantly for me, it's one with happy ending. I think I'm going to buy the DVD when it is released ;P Today...

Today I enjoyed myself tremendously at the worship vocalists workshop. We started with a time of worship, then went through revision on expectations for the vocalists. The 5Ps. Purpose, Preparation, Position, Passion, People. The gist of it - it's about knowing and embracing our vision, preparing and equipping ourselves technically and spiritually towards that, finding our security and stability knowing where we've been placed, passion for God and His people. The funny part came when a recorded video of one of the praise and worship sessions was played. We just kept laughing, cos we were all guilty as charged. We basically scrutinized the first minute of the first song and commented on what we could improve on. It was a far cry from where we hope to be when we watched a well-known Church's live worship video, even after we minus what we were not comparing - the lightings, the atmosphere, the number of rehearsals they would have had prior, less restrictive attire, I guess wh...

Bummer. Just before one crisis is resolved, another one arises. I wish I can take everything in my stride. Guess I've been a bit too sheltered as the youngest child in the family and have become a bit ironically disadvantaged. Thank God such skills can be nurtured along the way, just harder to press through with a lack in tenacity. I'm not going to use this as an excuse to push all the responsibility to do what needs to be done. Definitely it's a learning experience...part of growing up, and a process, I'm sure, that if I seek it's purpose, I would find Abba Father's hand in it. He is in control, you know... ;) Surely it would be foolish to expect that life is ever going to be a bed of roses. Even roses have thorns. The bigger the flower, the bigger the thorns. Well, maybe we should say bed of rose petals...but they don't last long after you pluck them off. Hmmm... whoever thought of using 'bed of roses' to illustrate a good life either didn't t...

Yet another week has come. Another headache in the morning. Monday blues' taking its effect on me again. Why do weekends always feel so short. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I do not appreciate every new day that my Abba Father has made. Maybe the little time I have to unwind doesn't settle in before I need to wind back just creates that yearning, making me look forward to the next weekend. Well, no point hoping for the unchangeable with what I have on my plate. Well, perhaps we're not supposed to settle? Why wait till 5 days before unwinding? For the busy and well-occupied, what's the possibility of disciplining oneself to come away from a day's work, and look to the source of your strength and rest, whatever works? No such luxury? Or perhaps there could be a more feasible alternative? Hmmm... I think I know what I need to do ;) So how as the short weekend been for me, then? On Saturday, cell group had a BBQ session at one of the members' condo - The...

Went to watch a movie with an ex-colleague cum dance buddy just now. We had a blast. Mamma Mia! was filled with all the ABBA songs that we always look forward to at jam and hop in school when she was still with us. I love Meryl Streep. She was the main reason why I wanted to watch this show in the first place. You see, I'm not really a musical fan. Cos singing when you're supposed to speak your lines in a conversation just doesn't sit well with me. Even when it comes to opera, which I'm learning to appreciate for other reason, it still requires a bit of getting used to. Some of the singing scenes in the movie I thought were rather 'cheesily' done, but they weren't that bad. The storyline and acting really gave fresh perspectives to the lyrics of those familiar tunes, and I found myself strangely able to identify with the words for most of the songs. Some parts were really hilarious and we couldn't stop laughing. The singing was good. Even Brosnan, whom a...

Last night I watched a video posted by a church friend about America's Got Talent featuring this girl Jessica Price. What she said made me cry. Somehow it stirred up some emotion and reminded me of something that's taken away from me. The crying gave me puffy eyes when I woke up. But what made me stayed at home this morning was the headache that came with it. Haiyah, stop dwelling in self-pity, can? But I think that's what a lot of people do - whine over things that they suffered. Sometimes I'm tempted to do it, and sometimes I actually indulge myself for a while. Perhaps it's ok to whine sometimes, just don't let it stop you from doing the more important things before you. Pity parties may help if the process and the pain make you learn from your past. But if you overdo it, you'll be more miserable and you make those around you miserable, too. Then it becomes counter effective. It's easier said than done. But must try. Everything happens for a reason. S...

So like I expected, my nephews and nieces 'congregated' in my room after the birthday feast last night. As I said I would, I let them play with Touch. So one of the older ones started exploring with it and decided to show me a few really cute YouTube videos. Let me just share a few of 'em with you... KICK HIS ASS! SERIOUS BABY BLUDDDDAAHH!!!

I'm managing better than I thought, even though there are still a lot of getting used to. It's interesting how one event happening around a person can cause so many changes and adjustments in one's life, and sometimes even in the lives of others. I guess that's how people are connected to one another, whether you like it or not. Places I used to go to, driving routes I used to take, things I used to do, events I used to attend, places I used to eat at, what I used to spend my time and money on, things I used to look out for, opinions I used to look forward to to stimulate thoughts about myself and my God, that sense of assurance I used to depend on; the list goes on. But I'll learn to deal with it. The only thing that is constant in life is change. If you refuse to adapt, you'll be very miserable. Thankfully, God never changes. "God is good, and His mercy endures forever!" A good reminder in service today. What a faithful God we serve! This afternoon a...

Feeling kinda lazy to walk out for lunch. Didn't sleep well so feeling tired. Later going for a follow-up appointment at CGH. Probably I'll grab a bite during the usual long wait. Bade farewell to 2 students yesterday. One to overseas student internship programme and the other to NS enlistment. The latter has been temping at our dept for a few months and yesterday was his last day at work. Will remember the 2 phrases he always uses (which some of us have adopted) - "shi de" (that's right) and "tai bang le" (great!). He says it in a very calm way. Correction, he says everything in a calm way, even in a not-so-calm situation. Haha... Walked really far to get lunch at the airport - from one end of T2 to the other end of T3, literally. I was like thinking to myself (now no longer to myself, I guess), are we there yet, are we there yet??? Haha...I've never been to T3 mah. Maybe that triggered the old sore on my left foot and I'm still feeling it now. ...