I'm Falling In Love

Things I learn from students never fail to amuse me. Like the word, "random". I've learnt it is a thought or action that's not in line with the existing train of thoughts or conversation... something that would cause a respond, "Where did that come from?"

Sometimes, they awe me with their knowlege and skills. So young and they are already so good with their instruments. Well, most of them. At least it's more than enough to cause goosebums when I hear the whole band play. Most of all, their thoughts and their heart move me and compels me to do things. I'm falling in love with them...even the ones that seem to be not so lovable on the outside. I think there's still God's grace to help me CHOOSE to love them...put forward the first step. And they are indeed worth loving, no matter what. If God can love me, I can love anybody. I believe it is our own weakness that limit our capacity to love. It's our own pride that causes us to take offence easily. Ok, that's a bit random.

Time spent with my Band MC members are always time well-spent. I've been enjoying every bit of it. Maybe because amid all the lame, and not so lame, jokes we share, we talk about real stuff concerning the band. For me personally, those are times of laughter, of knowing more about band and band music, of getting to know each teenager personally, of inspiration of ideas, and of exchange of acts and words of kindness. I appreciate them all.

Seriously, I don't care if I'm spending more time with this bunch than the others. Cos sometimes I'm just too tired of small talks, mental strains to think of politically correct statements and hypocrisy. Moreover, I'm spending time with the band out of my own free time after office hour. It's probably a natural progression because I'm falling in love with band music, leading to me learning the clarinet.

I am conscious of my inclination, but I won't go all out just to change my status quo. I won't deny that I do have my favourites, I think I'm entitled to my preference. But I don't play partial when it comes to opportunities. You just have to earn my trust.

At the end of the time, really, it's a matter of how much one group wants to take what I have to offer. If you have hidden agenda, I'd act blur even if I know about it. Don't try to manipulate me. I'd rather spend more time with those who are willing to put their hands and feet to do constructive work than those just leave it as it is and wait for things to happen. Real leaders take initiatives and show that they are thinking people. Not just waiting for an answer or an idea to fall from the sky onto their laps. I'm not all-knowing, but with all the I have and the person I am, I will do my best to facilitate them and guide them to find solution to their problems but they need to take it seriously and not sit on it. If a group always need me to provide the solution or plead with them to do something about some matters, then I might as well run the group myself. It'll take less energy and probably produce better result.

If you wanna know why I seem to like one group less, go figure. Just make sure you find out the right answer before accusing me of something I'm not. Don't put words in my mouth. At the end of the day, you may be judging me wrongly, causing a ripple relational effect, and making me reciprocate and responding wrongly too. I'm ok when you assume just to make a joke out of it. But I detest it because you assume too seriously, as if it's the truth. I hate it, abhor it. It disgusts me because you think you know everything.

On a lighter note... I'd most probably be joining my Choir's practices if there no other events in school or in church... free vocal lessons leh, who don't want? TP's already paying so much anyway. And that's also because I love singing, and something that I acknowledge is a gift from God. Back to my loves...I must say this batch of Choir comm is another bunch of people who are willing to put in effort for it's own good. I'm very happy with their progress for now. It'll take a bit of convincing from my part to the bosses. But I'd be more than happy to promote them.