Bandaged Soul...so I can open my heart to you again.

Lately I've been quite easily irritated by a particular person and I'm not very happy with the way I have been dealing with it. It's so frustrating because I know it is not a very Christlike thing to do. It has come to a point where I felt it would cause less damage if I just simply ignore that person. A term used nowadays for such people is a condition of verbal diarrhea. I say it is a condition of verbal incontinence. Lack of restrain. God help me!!!

It was an eventful day today. Sang for Choir in the morning. Tried the Pinoy food near Church for lunch with cell group after 2nd Service. 2.30pm attended a Songwriters' Workshop by Simeon (with Pete), Deb Fung and local artiste, Nat Tan. So happy to see the Aussie friends again. Learnt quite a bit that I hope to apply them faithfully. Desperately need Holy Spirit inspiration. 7pm back to Church to help clear up stage stuff for tomorrow's renovation. After that sent Pst Rupert home then ate late dinner at Old Airport Road Hawkers' Centre. Bro's stall already closed so I ate fishball noodle at a random stall instead. On the way to the car bumped into David. Heng I saw him cos when my car battery went flat I knew I could call him and he helped me to contact tow truck. Followed truck that towed Matrix to get my battery replaced at Lavendar Street. Had to ask Raymond to transfer money to me cos in case not enough in my account and the place only accept NETS or cash. So dram...

Yes, this is another pretty number obsession but not for no reason. It was Chalet 7 at Fairy Point (near Changi Beach Club), on 8 Sep 10 - the 3rd day of our family chalet. We booked a bungalow for a 4-day, 3-night family get together. Anyway, it was planned for mom when we found out about her cancer. So this trip was to gather everyone before she gets too sick from her treatment. Thank God, so far she's responding well to chemo, though she is currently going through massive hair loss. Anyway, I'm highlighting this particular day because we had a ball of a time sliding down this grassy slope at the back of the huge 5-bedroom bungalow. I didn't get to slide because of my foot condition but I had such a good time just being the video women, using my mobile phone. Some were done by Mui from another angle. We had one round before it started raining to our favour. After that the slope was wetter and more conducive for a second round of fun. I love all the sniplets so much I deci...

Bob and Kathy Fitts with this morning's worship team Jason Tay, Kathy Fitts, Bob Fitts and me Singing on the same stage with Bob Fitts in Church this morning was not just about a dream coming true. It was not about meeting my 'hero' or 'idol', though it was indeed an honour and privilege to lead our congregation with him. But really, it was more of a gratefulness of God's amazing love for me because He remembered. He didn't forget that dream which was laid down at his feet many years ago, when I had felt forgotten then, 'stranded' down under in Perth, away from the people and ministry I love. I felt then that whatever opportunity on any big stage was taken from me and I had to do something I hate instead - studying (haha, sorry mom). The God whom I have personally experienced to be a faithful Comforter helped me through that period of tough time by gently reminding me of the right perspective and attitude towards serving in the worship ministry where...

Since long long time ago in (not) Bethlehem, I had this dream that I would one day stand on the same stage as Bob Fitts as a background vocalist. As I'm writing this now, and listening to the old, old Hosanna! Music Praise Worship album - Proclaim His Power with Bob Fitts, those songs make my heart leap. I'm getting excited all over again that this dream has come true. In my early days as a Worship Vocalist (formerly called Back-up Singer) in the Worship Ministry, the Church I have been serving in used to take, quite extensively, songs from Hosanna! Music. So I was inevitably exposed to those albums, following and buying almost all the releases volume after volume (cassette format hor). In fact, my vocals and harmony techniques developed the most with the help of those praise and worship albums. In those days, where vocals sounds clearer than the instrumentals, and songs are composed to the vocal range comfortable to both genders, it is easy to catch the lyrics without having t...

Three more weeks on my aircast - the foot gear that's been allowing me to walk with my current fracture. Quite an amazing invention. Nevertheless, if the X-Ray shows insufficient recovery on 9 Sep, I'd most probably have to go for surgery to secure the affected area with a piece of metal... Pray for healing... So I finally got to spend some chill time with my niece, Joanna. We met at Starbucks at Marina Square (near the cinema), went walking (slowly) around the mall, watched a movie - "Step Up 3", and supped at Xin Wang Hong Kong Cafe. We both got home before 1am just now :P Note to self: next time must send her home...especially when her phone batt is flat. Prayed really fervently on my way home. Got a bit worried :( Thank God she got home safely... Just had the house valuated in the afternoon. Hopefully, the rest of the process in buying over my parents' flat would go smoothly. Actually the more troublesome part is the renovation. Lots of packing, discarding and...

I was given this Walker Boot to replace my fibreglass cast. Now I can walk without crutches... with care. It can be easily removed for shower. Unfortunately my X-Ray today shows no obvious improvement. If the condition remains after another 6 weeks on this boot, I'd have to go for operation to put a piece of metal inside. How, look like Robocop not? Lol... In about 8 hours' time, Mom would be wheeled into the operating theatre for her most major surgery...of the brain. We're all praying for you, Mommy. Sleep well tonight. Be strong tomorrow. Amen!

Jo called this afternoon. We had a good and super long chat (two hours!). We can talk about everything and anything under the sun. After 20 years, we have new found common interest - Korean drama. Lol... Caleb and Bob came by to visit at 5pm. Bought me a bouquet of flowers and McD for tea. My favourite double cheese burger without ketchup! Yummy... We had a good chat, too. Caleb did most of the talking though. Haha... But he was sharing with me about having progressive vision and being faithful in daily knowing God more. It was quite in line with what I was reading today about the Great Commandment (love God and others) and the Great Commission (ministry), meant to happen in this order. Then Mui swung by after on her way home from SGH and bought me dinner. We ate together, exchanged thoughts about the issue of getting my own flat. It was insightful and sobering. She gently dropped news about mom's condition. Looks like she's going to be staying longer at the hospital than expec...

I think I have skitzophrenia - I hear voices when I watch these videos... onetimeblind - MORE COKE - christian drama from onetimeblind on Vimeo . Comfort from onetimeblind on Vimeo . onetimeblind - LIVE IN ME - christian drama from onetimeblind on Vimeo .

"God’s pain is our comfort... And in the agony of Jesus lies our hope. Had he not sighed, had he not felt the burden for what was not intended, we would be in a pitiful condition. Had he simply chalked it all up to the inevitable or washed his hands of the whole stinking mess, what hope would we have?" - from Max Lucado's "God Came Near: Chronicles Of The Christ" I find these words comforting indeed. If what I'm going through could move the heart of the Almighty God, I'd find that I'm not alone, and I'm protected. If He could feel for me, I believe He will not let matters rest until I'm comforted, and until my status is where I'm supposed to be - where He purposed me to be. For 38 years, my life has evolved according to the choices I make. I cannot see the hands of God though I believe He is at work. But God's gift of freedom of choice lies the responsibility that is inescapable with its consequences. There's no Ctrl-Z. We cannot ...

I hate it when my plans are thwarted. You know, when you're all excited about what a good idea something's gonna be. You thought you've thought through it all till someone come with better sense and make your plans look stupid. I had to admit it. It would be even more stupid not to. With all good intentions, I wanted to get back to the office tomorrow. The timing was just right. It's Saturday, and nobody's gonna be at home. I can get past the how-are-you's and get straight to work. Mui had to be back at work, too and she was willing to pick me up and fetch me home after. The foot condition being an accident (unplanned), I wasn't prepared to work from home. I needed to get back at my desk to settle some stuff. Aye...long story. And with all good intentions, someone reminded me of how unrealistic and unnecessary to risk hurting myself further. I thought of the possibility and how further burdensome I would be if anything happens. I could not afford it. So, the...

Pink cast with green shoe to keep it clean... It's the fourth day since I had my new cast. TTSH did a good job. Not that I have a lot of experience to compare with, but a little googling tells me that what I have on right now are not plaster cast but one of fiberglass material. And it's in pink! Haha... I'm not crazy over pink but it did put a smile on my face when mine was put on. And it went well with my pink malindi crocs I bought recently. My doctor said they have the cast in different colours, but I'm not sure if he was joking. I'll find out if I need to change it at my next follow up visit on 29 Jul. The cast I was put on on my first visit was done at the Emergency Dept. It was what the hospital called a below knee backslab, covering only the sole and a bit on the side, then right up to the calf. The whole cast was supported by bandages around the foot to below the knee level. That cast was heavier than my current full cast. Instead of bandages on the outside,...

Just one day after putting on the cast, my foot itched so much I had to have it removed, scratch, apply cream on it before putting it back again. Thank God it's just a half cast (90 degrees under my calf and feet). The thing about an itch is, the more you scratch it, you can't stop instantly. The affected area gets bigger, in fact. It would have probably been better if I had left it as it is. How to 'dong' until it's time to remove it for good? I think really have to get it changed and ask for anti-itch medicine...but I don't think there's such a thing, oral medication for itch. The other thing about itch is...it's easy to give in cos you really don't know if it's worth enduring it. It's like what if it's never gonna go away? Why not an earlier release? Instant gratification ;P Moving around the house is aided by my nephew's swivel wheeled chair. Sometimes I would sit on it and use my good leg to paddle...like stone age Flinstones, ha...

When I was young, I have this obsession that everything has to come in pairs to be more complete. For example, if I start walking down a flight of stairs with my left foot, it is comforting if I end up on my right. If it doesn't, I would feel the urge to do something about it. And talking about stairs, it feels more natural to begin with my left foot. Incidentally, I fractured both my feet in that preferred order, involuntarily, of course. The first was 9 years ago. The second was...yesterday! T.T My mom caught this kitty flying near to my sister's house's window out of nowhere. I don't know whether to laugh or to cry... And I kept thinking it was an old injury, only to realise that it was not the same foot as before. Bad memory. So my sister took leave today and drove me to TTSH A&E to get an X-Ray. That's where I found out it was another hairline fracture. I'm now on cast. Doc said it needs to stay on for 2 months! Oh my gosh!!! I got a 1-week MC with a li...

Wed, 18 Jun 08 . That was when I injured my left foot playing tennis and had to stay home fo 3 full weeks. (That's one thing good about blogging. It allows me to dig out my posts quite easily with a few keyword search.) Vividly remember that it was due to playing tennis with a few of my colleagues under the FIT programme organised by our HR. I went back to the office on 7 Jul 10 Sun, 4 July 10, 2 years after I recovered from my left foot, my right foot received a similar sprain. Still yet to affirm if it could be a fracture like I had on my left during the 911 period 9 years ago. Past few weeks I had been nursing a strain on this foot due to over exertion. I pieced a few things together and kind of gathered that was the case. Today, I went to see another doctor recommended by a colleague and he said it could be gout. He asked me to get it checked for fracture tomorrow (since it's Sunday today) and later to ascertain the condition. Thanks to Gayle who spent the whole afternoon w...

In a state of blur-ness, I went Church-ward thinking that there was a Worship Ministry Team Leaders' Meeting. On the way there, through a few smses and a call, I realised that the meeting had already been brought forward to Wed, the day I couldn't make it because of an event in school. So since I was already on the road, I didn't want it to be a 'wasted trip' and ended up having brunch at Old Airport Road Hawkers' Centre. Dad was at David's stall preparing so I sat at the table nearby. I was there for almost two hours, mostly staring into blank space. Thought I could have some pasta but was too hungry to wait for David to start business so I ordered beef kway teow and just sat there feeling a bit emo till I could take it no more. With Xin Wang Hong Kong Cafe in mind, I headed towards Marina Square. Thought perhaps my pants would be ready for collection. Had to shorten the length a little. So it was and after collecting the items, I chilled at Starbucks nearb...

No, I didn't get an offer for me to counter. Why would I decline my 'dream' job? Haha... I was asked to cover my office counter (a.k.a. reception desk) yesterday while the rest were busy about for CCA Awards Ceremony at TCC. Thanks to my foot condition which still allowed me to drive to school, I'm now actualizing this fantasy to do customer service. Well, not that my real job does not involve customer service, and reception work is not exactly some brainless and stress-free duty either. Maybe I like it cos I know it's not my real job. It's doing something different. Hmmm... it's like getting to enjoy playing with somebody's kid and get to return to them when the crying or whining starts. Ahahahaha... At least I could contribute to the event by releasing all non-disabled staff and I felt less guilty for having to absent myself. Nobody is indispensable, but it is vital that everyone plays their role well. So I'm quite grateful that I could still be a ...

I wanted to write about today this morning. It was pouring heavily till about 11am. I was in my bed the whole morning. In my half-awake state, I contemplated about not going to work today because my right foot has not been recovering much. I concluded that I did not let it rest fully enough. For the past 4 days, the accumulated exertion has caused much pain by the time I set foot at home. The decision was realised at about 8.40am as I sms to my colleagues that I'm taking urgent leave. So, instead of blogging, I was busy emailing, sms-ing, and msn-ing to settle some outstanding stuff at work, mostly for a performance assignment by one of my group this coming Sunday, which my colleague will be covering because one of her groups is also performing for the same event. On my way to get my foot wrapped at the Chinese Physio, I drove my car for inspection at VICOM. That didn't take much walking, thank God. Today's the only day I can do it before the end-of-June deadline. Went stra...

So it was not really a sprain. I didn't remember any of such episode anyway. That's why I was waiting for it to get better over the last week, thinking that I wouldn't be walking a lot during Church Camp. In fact I slept quite a lot during the 4-day stay at Thistle, JB. :D The Sinseh said it was because I walked too much before the period my right foot started feeling the effect, accumulated as the day goes by as long as I never fully rested. Come to think of it, it could even be from Graduation week. The long walks between SAA and TCC, literally the east and west of campus, more than twice a day for 4 days. Then without resting enough, we came to the week with all the rehearsals, stayover and the actual performances for the International Conference on Learning & Teaching at Grand Copthorne Waterfront Hotel. It wasn't a sprain, but it was equally painful. More so by the day. The more I don't let it rest and even a small amount of walking could have aggravated it...

It seems like I've been looking forward to a moving target and never reaching there. Working towards event after event, never really settling down. It sends a small shiver down my spine thinking, what if this is going to be how it's gonna be for a longer while than I expected. For now, just this week, it's one stayover for the last camp of this short 2-week vacation, which, for the record, admin staff in IHLs operate the same as any company (i.e. we don't have automatic vacation with the students). In fact, we're busier this season. Tomorrow, TP Chorale is hosting 5 Choirs from 4 Secondary Schools and 1 JC to have a half-day exchange on campus. All thanks for our Conductor, this would be the first time the Chorale (actually any of my groups) is doing something like that. It would be quite exciting. Just hope that the members behave themselves like how young adults supposed to behave. You know, at this age, they are 'not here not there'. Well, some adults don...