Friendship Inc.

Quite a lot has been running through my head for the past few days, in particularly, the issue of friendship - what it meant to me in the past and what it means to me now. People around me have asked me, "Cynthia, do you have a best friend?" or simply, "Who are you close(r) to?" I don't know what the kind of answers they are expecting out of me and why they would want to know, but everytime such a question is asked, I can't immediately give an answer. It probably sounds kind of strange. I mean, if it's my close or best friend, wouldn't the answer be really straightforward and requires little thought to it? But yet I find that I'm unable to respond.

All around me, I find that people are often seeking to be someone's special someone. It doesn't necessarily mean boyfriend-girlfriend kind of relationship. I mean isn't it nice to know that you have a special place in someone's heart, especially if that someone is one whom you find that you can relate to and whom you feel safe to open your heart to? As difficult and risky as it may be, you are willing to make yourself vulnerable and try your best to let that person know that it is safe to let you into their life in good times, and especially during tough time - basically, anytime. You want to be that someone whom the other person can trust to stick around in season, and out of season.

I think it's hard to find someone like that on this earth. It's easy to find a one-sided relationship, but to find one that is mutual among 2 persons, that's like rare. But maybe it's just me. Maybe for most people on this earth, it's easy to find such a friend. Is there something wrong with me? Am I looking at the wrong place, down the wrong lane? Or am I such a bad friend? Am I unapproachable or do I make it difficult to let someone in?

Maybe we don't really need best friends in life. Perhaps it has been commercialized so that people have more reasons to spend their money on special occasions like, Christmas Day, Valentine's Day, Friendship Day, Birthdays, etc. I'm sick and tired of looking for a "best friend". Maybe it doesn't even exist. People on this earth are just disillusioned. Or perhaps it's more realistic that I change my perception of friendship, its criteria and the expectations that comes with it.

At this very moment, I think I should just be contented with the varied levels of closeness with people according to seasons in my life. I'd just keep the dear ones within my treasure chest, and perhaps somewhere down the road, I may get a match. I'd pray for grace to wait and try my best to be a true friend regardless of whether I find the other hand to clap.

Friends are friends forever

If the Lord's the Lord of them

And a friend will not say "never"

'Cause the welcome will not end

Though it's hard to let you go

In the Father's hands we know

That a lifetime's not to long to live as friends