So Tempted

I felt such an urge to just click on you and chat over msn.

Funny how some people could misunderstand that I'm writing about them on my blog when I was pouring out my heart and soul about a totally different person on a totally unrelated incident. On the other hand, there were other occasions where I wrote about my feelings towards somebody, only hoping that the object of my post would know...yet I know it was meant to be just a hope. For that person's sake I won't reveal cos it's not fair and there's really no point to impose my affection on others. That's why, no matter how tempted I am, I have to keep clear.

Like I said before, sometimes loving a person means to stay away. I think I've been quite successful in doing that. It was quite painful at first because there was that need to show that I cared. Then when I bare it all out, I realised...that's my need. It's not what my beloved required. Have I really changed in this short period of a few months. Am I really that strong? Letting go can really change a person's perspective, as much as what a person is holding on to could be the 'rudder' that directs one's journey in life.

I admire those who are truly so secure about themselves, who do not need to know if others care about them, leaving everything to self-discovery. Perhaps they know, or perhaps it doesn't matter to them. In case you wonder, I have no intention of being sarcastic. It's just something beyond the understanding of one who needs to know. It would probably take someone who is not so self-centred to be able to live without knowing.

Apparently, even feelings of disappointment is of the self...which brings me to the 31 Self-'s:

  1. Self-will
  2. Self-indulgence
  3. Self-seeking
  4. Self-complacency
  5. Self-glorying
  6. Self-confidence
  7. Self-consciousness
  8. Self-importance
  9. Self-depreciation
  10. Self-vindication
  11. Self-sensitivity
  12. Self-seeing
  13. Self-introspection
  14. Self-love
  15. Selfish affections
  16. Selfish motives
  17. Selfish desires
  18. Selfish choices
  19. Selfish pleasures
  20. Selfish possessions
  21. Selfish fears and cares
  22. Selfish sorrows
  23. Selfish sacrifices and denials
  24. Selfish virtues and morality
  25. Self-righteousness
  26. Selfish sanctification
  27. Selfish charity
  28. Selfish Christian work
  29. Selfish prayers
  30. Selfish hopes
  31. Our whole life
Wah...such a long list of the 31 kings to be crucified within us. Well, identifying them is the first step to overcoming them. How would you know how to fight if you don't know what is it you're fighting against right?

So many things to work on - I better get myself started.

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