Grace Above The Storm
Haven't been in the pink-est of health lately. Physically, mentally, psychologically, whatever-ly... well, the whole package. Missed out quite a few events at the office, though I honestly wouldn't say it hasn't been a bit of a drag to turn up either. Besides the ailment, it's probably also because I've been kind of down and out, discouraged, unmotivated - signs of burnout.
Despondence...
Hopelessness can be quite a killer virus if you don't get out of its grip of depression. Thank God there was somewhat like a shift of the circumstance and from within me. Things turn out to be not so bleak and gloomy.
For one, the sharing session at CPC this afternoon was finally over and done with. That was a big block off my shoulder. As much as I am appreciative of the opportunity to share the word of God, I can't deny that I actually dreaded it. I dreaded it because of fear. I mean, what if I interpret it wrongly? What if whatever I say doesn't make sense and confuse them further? I managed to escape a few times, but it seems quite difficult and unreasonable to avoid it this time. So, in a way I was pushed by a few 'forces', including myself, and it all turn out into a just-do-it outcome.
I'm not sure if the guys got anything out of what I've shared. Yes, I stuttered, repeated my points, and there were quite a few short spurts of time where my mind went blank. Shared quite a few personal experiences to illustrate some of my points so that was quite a daring move - they just popped into my head at those moments. The whole 40-minute ordeal was sincere at best. Whether they understood what I said or whether I went out of point, that is a totally different story altogether. I'm just going to leave it to the Holy Spirit to work His truth out in their lives. It's something beyond my control.
What was comforting was that they knew it was my first time doing sharing and they were quite supportive...by being quiet and seemingly attentive. Haha...that's not something that any of us counsellors would take for granted. I also had the assurance beforehand from the more experienced counsellors that they will back me up should I get stuck.
It's really good to know that I have people backing me up. People who knows more but do not belittle the ignorant. People who can be trusted to correct another not for the sake of finding faults but to nurture. That's what being gracious is all about, isn't it?
Despondence...
Hopelessness can be quite a killer virus if you don't get out of its grip of depression. Thank God there was somewhat like a shift of the circumstance and from within me. Things turn out to be not so bleak and gloomy.
For one, the sharing session at CPC this afternoon was finally over and done with. That was a big block off my shoulder. As much as I am appreciative of the opportunity to share the word of God, I can't deny that I actually dreaded it. I dreaded it because of fear. I mean, what if I interpret it wrongly? What if whatever I say doesn't make sense and confuse them further? I managed to escape a few times, but it seems quite difficult and unreasonable to avoid it this time. So, in a way I was pushed by a few 'forces', including myself, and it all turn out into a just-do-it outcome.
I'm not sure if the guys got anything out of what I've shared. Yes, I stuttered, repeated my points, and there were quite a few short spurts of time where my mind went blank. Shared quite a few personal experiences to illustrate some of my points so that was quite a daring move - they just popped into my head at those moments. The whole 40-minute ordeal was sincere at best. Whether they understood what I said or whether I went out of point, that is a totally different story altogether. I'm just going to leave it to the Holy Spirit to work His truth out in their lives. It's something beyond my control.
What was comforting was that they knew it was my first time doing sharing and they were quite supportive...by being quiet and seemingly attentive. Haha...that's not something that any of us counsellors would take for granted. I also had the assurance beforehand from the more experienced counsellors that they will back me up should I get stuck.
It's really good to know that I have people backing me up. People who knows more but do not belittle the ignorant. People who can be trusted to correct another not for the sake of finding faults but to nurture. That's what being gracious is all about, isn't it?
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