Honest To God

A conversation with an ex-colleague on my way to a concert yesterday led to a realisation of a few issues within the deepest part of me. No amount of justification would be able to hide it this time. I have to accept it right in my face. I guess I have been deceiving myself. Oh well, why am I not surprised? I'm a believer of the deceitfulness of one's own heart, remember?

So I pulled up my courage and embraced the inevitable truth. Dear Abba, I'm sure You saw it coming. Thank You for being so gentle and patient with me. And I thought I have laid it bare to You. I guess it wasn't enough. Or perhaps I knew it was there all the while... but I just chose to ignore it - in denial?

Now that I'm able to accept it, I believe it would be easier for me to deal with it and to fix anything that's not right. Indeed, confession is good for the soul.

Thank God for friends with whom I can bounce off my thoughts (could be personal issues, work issues, or a mix of both - that's where it gets confusing sometimes). I believe all of us need friends who are not too hasty to flip open their moral compass when we need to air some controversial issues in life. It makes the pain, confusion, and whatever unbearable stuff more bearable.

Basically you just need a friend, not a judge.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and a contrite heart - these, O God, You will not despise. Psalm 51:17

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