A Dream Come True

It was a simple dream, to do something that I'm familiar with - perform a song accompanied by TP Band. I had that dream not long after I took charge of the band almost a decade ago. Besides being grand to be accompanied in that manner, the idea was that I'm backed by people I love - my students.

This year, my dream finally came true...well, half of it. The other half was really unexpected - performing on the clarinet. It didn't even cross my mind when I first picked up that instrument. The objective was to get a deeper understanding of how a band works from the inside, you know, the real thing, not just administratively, so that I could better manage it with the committee with empathy for the members. Learning the instrument opened up my understanding of the players' needs, considerations, and so on.

A few things I found out as I learnt how to play the instrument and spending a lot of time with the band members within (sitting in) and out of practices:

1. I finally understood what it means when members tell me, "This is a Bb instrument", "tune in concert Bb";
2. I know why certain instruments require more than one reed at a time - to rotate them so as to prolong the lifespan;
3. I know what is double-reed and that 2 of it is equivalent to the price of my lao pok clarinet;
4. The repertoire in a concert is sometimes arranged with consideration of difficulty level in mind so that players would not be playing too difficult pieces in the 2nd half;
5. Having an interval is not just for the audience so they can get out of their seats and stretch a little, it is for the performers as well because performing can be really tiring;
6. Different playing habits affect the dynamics of the performance greatly;
7. The job of an SL is more than just taking attendance and sectionals - they really need to work closely with the Management Committee to ensure members know what is expected of them;
8. I'm better able to recognise the different sounds produced by different instruments... though sometimes it's still hard to tell;
9. With proper tonguing, it is confirmed that the liquid that drips from the clarinet (and any other instruments) is more than just condensation from playing in an aircon room;
10. Breath support method for playing an instrument is exactly the same as that in singing... but adapting it to playing the instrument... that I'm still trying to grapple;
11. I think all my band members are amazing for the fact that they are able to sight read cos I'm really lousy at it even when I was learning the piano (dang!);
12. Mr Tan is a super patient and fatherly Instructor - TP Band is very blessed to have him. I think he is a much needed kind of Instructor for a tertiary band like mine. I learnt that through sitting in the numerous band practices - one of my favourite past time.

I could choose to join my Choir, but I don't need to learn how to sing and I'm already in one. With an instrument, I can learn it individually without imposing on the regular practices. I thought of learning something from my other groups, but... not feasible too. My job would not allow me to be committed to such a regime either.

So, anyway, for the clarinet, it was initially just a "try, try" effort because I was uncertain of which instrument to choose, how long I would keep to it considering the limited number of clarinets we have. Time was also a factor. Then my mind got firmed up when I got hold of my own instrument. Sure it was a cheap and low grade one, but for a starter, it was perfect. And I've got a good clarinet SL this year too.

Some of my students obliged and tutored me here and there after a few semi-formal sessions in the beginning with SL KCJW, lol. I tried not to bother them too much, asking questions here and there, but practical help was always available whenever the need arises. Most of the time they were really obliging, while at times I sensed I was irritating some people...haha! So much for trying "not to bother them so much", ahahaha...!!! So for the "some people", the obliging part was even more precious and appreciated. (Thank you lah, really, really. You know I really needed it mah.) The mouthpiece for my birthday present came as a big surprise and encouragement to continue, too.

Well, it's probably just beginning to sink in. I think performing with TP Band this year is a high point for me, seriously. To the point that as I'm writing and reflecting now, I'm in blissful tears. If you know where I'm coming from, you won't think that I'm being emo or exaggerating. I'm thankful that my Abba Father remembered my dream, though it was nothing noble or the type that "make a difference - change the world". In fact, it seems a bit selfish. I didn't strive for it...it just happened - how I chose the instrument (or rather how it was 'chosen' for me), how the instrument came to my possession etc.

I've also been holding back cos I have been told that I shouldn't be performing with my arts group during their concert because I would need to be running about making sure that things run smoothly. So I've only dared to toy with the idea in my mind. Other questions like, I'm not a band member (that reality had a "dang!" effect on me) and I'm not doing anything of my forte that's worth featuring. Perhaps just simply wanting to be included seem too childish and imposing as an item on my wishlist. There's the integrity of a proper band concert and implications on membership to be considered.

So I'm thankful that the Organisers included me in the programme and the Conductor arranged the piece to make it more special.

This full house concert is definitely a milestone for TP Band, as well as for me, in more ways than one. I'm glad DD came. He said he could sense that I wanted him to when he told me he couldn't. I kept pestering him for a reply to reserve seats for him. His schedule has been really hectic this week and he has already made arrangements with the family. I don't usually hope for the higher rank people to come because of protocols during a stressful event. But this time round I wanted someone up there to see the fruit of their labour.

The Management Committee took pains in holding the band in place amidst some displeasures with the changes made. It's never easy moving against the flow of familiarity and convenience. The Concert Committee worked so hard, putting in a lot of effort to plan for it and the fringe events prior. The members and the Conductor working tirelessly during those extra Wednesday practices and rehearsals. The individuals who dropped by in between to drill themselves for their ensembles and solo parts. Yes, they would be appreciated by the audience, but we can't deny the fact that there are the important people who need to be there to experience it first hand and be confident that the band is ready for greater plans.

And thanks to Catherine who helped in entertaining them and in taking care of some FOH issues while I take care of stuff backstage. Thanks to my dear colleagues, Hon Choo and Hwee Hoon, for their support. If not for Sonny's play on the same night, I'm sure my Director and more colleauges would be present, too. Thanks to Eileen and Jackson for the flowers and chocolate. First time I receive bouquet and chocolate for performing leh. Haha...somemore just for one piece. Hee...

And for the band, thanks, peeps, for making my dream come true. I'm extremely proud of your performance last night, whether or not it was a full house. I think it was probably the best concert ever. Of course I'm pleased by the ticket sales - it's a reflection of all your efforts in selling them and owning this concert. And I'm sure it does have an effect on the driving force towards excellence last night. Who wouldn't be excited and be even more motivated to be at one's best to perform to a full house?

Now, I'm looking forward to the upcoming competition, though it has not been carved out in stone. But most of all, I'm very hopeful for the band's progress towards maturity. I can see it happening, Mr Tan can see it happening and that put a lot of faith in me. I'm thankful that we can work well together. I respect his ways of doing things and his heart for the students. I love his illustrations when he instructs the band, drawing them mental pictures of the story behind the pieces of music. I am at ease when he tells me that the band can make it. I hope the band sees it too and would be willing to put their hands to the plow together. The sky's the limit.

can you give some words of encouragement
no?
ahaha
sosad
cannot squeeze out any?
ok
my friends said not bad for 5 months
you lah
well
minus the squeaks
projection was good
and the fact that u work on the aspects i ask u to
job well done
of course
room for improvement
yay...

"of course, room for improvement"...I knew I won't be spared. Haha...but I'm happy :)