Bandaged Soul...so I can open my heart to you again.

I read about it in one of Jack Frost's book - Spiritual Slavery to Spiritual Sonship. I think it was a state of mind. Anyway, I'm still in the first chapter. But this 'Numb Numb Ville' kinda describes the state I've been in and out of for some time now. And while in it, all sorts of issues emerge and compound on one another to further complications and confusion. Just when I managed to get out of it, it sucks me in again. Get me out of this rut. Or if I'm meant to be in it to learn something, let me feel You with me. And tell me once in a while, that everything's gonna be alright. I feel like I'm trying to make sense even of the norm, as if there's more to it than meets the eye. Help me to focus. I suddenly remembered what triggered the frequent visits to 'Numb Numb Ville'. Trust. Someone had betrayed my trust. And it was not some life and death issue. You can say that it was a white lie, or a cover up to appear to be wise. I think "That...

Had quite a temperature yesterday. Subsided in the early morning but still not well enough to get myself to the office today. 2 days MC - haven't had that for a while. Slept almost the whole day yesterday and only got out of bed to see the doctor at the clinic downstairs, eat medicine, ate the porridge that dad came by to cook for me. He said he rushed over in a cab when mom called him. So sweet. Was really appreciative so I made myself eat a little while he was still around even though my stomach didn't feel up to it at that point. Anyway I hadn't eaten anything the whole day. But by the end of the night, I did manage to finish up the whole mega bowl of mince pork porridge and 2/3 pot of plain porridge with a big slice of steamed fish. Then it was back to bed again. On hindsight, I'm really glad I ate all the porridge cos I just realised that I haven't been drinking water that much. I was probably dehydrating. Mom has been in the hospital for the whole of last week...

JPSAE stands for Joint Polytechnic Special Admission Exercise. "The Joint Polytechnic Special Admissions Exercise (JPSAE), first launched in 2006, aims to make available a rigorous and challenging polytechnic education to students with special aptitude and talents. Under the Exercise, polytechnics are prepared to exercise flexibility in student admission while maintaining a quality intake. Polytechnics will consider students who demonstrate a strong passion or aptitude through work attachments, sustained involvement in course-related projects, outstanding performance in competitions like the Maths/Science Olympiad. In addition, students with outstanding talents/achievements in leadership, community service, entrepreneurship, sports, artistic and creative areas will be considered. Up to 5 percent of the polytechnics' annual intake of students can be admitted via the JPSAE. Each polytechnic has the discretion to determine its modes of assessment of students' talents, includi...

Another binary-ish day... which I have obviously missed writing on. Heck... today's another good one, so let's combine (may the force be with me...lol!). The past week had been a full week of work till almost midnight on Saturday. Thanks to Open House, my feet is hurting like...no I don't know how hell can hurt but I'm sure I was no where near. Oh, talk about Open House... I believe I have not had better weather for Open House than this year's. For one, the Band performed the full repertoire under cloud-sheltered afternoon , when just hours before, it was so wet and windy that one of our tents flew off the ground and killed a few kois in the pond. The ones that survived are probably still traumatized and hiding in safe corners. The morning was spent helping to salvage the rain-drenched equipment. I guess it's a small price to pay for the 3 days of non-stop programmes. Nothing beats hardwork wasted due to cancelled performances that disappoints the performers as ...

First work day for the new year in less than 12 hours. Excited, yet apprehensive. Apprehensive as challenges don't disappear just because hopes are up with new visions. On the other hand, hopes are strengths. God's hope - 'no horse run', and that's what I'm counting on, for life. That's just one part of my life - my share of the market place. There are many aspects to juggle. Work, Family, Church, Ministry, Personal life. I believe it's the same for everyone. One thing I learnt from yesterday's meeting, though, that none exists on its own. We can't compartmentalize the individual aspects. Everything intertwines, balanced by congruent living, walking in the Spirit and in the fear of the Lord (beginning of wisdom). God takes personal interest that I succeed in all because He entrusts the stewardship of this redeemed life to me. I love Jesus. He's been my Hero, more than I have given Him the credit for. And He loves me, too. In fact, He loved me...

I'm not a teacher per se. Nevertheless those working in an educational institutes were encouraged to attend due to a similar potential influence in the market place of the Education Mountain - one of the 7 mountains shaping a nation. After this morning's meeting, I felt that God has answered my prayer - strengthening me once again into my sphere of influence. Got a word from the Lord during the anointing service. It was a gracious reminder. Something for me to seriously look into. Really thankful for God's faithfulness in His grace and discipline. Thank You, Abba Father. Kenneth introduced me to this 'secret society' dim sum place called Bosses Restaurant. A bit pricey but was quite nice. Was a teeny weeny bit upset, though, that they charge $1 for ice water which I refused to pay for. Such a glam restaurant with a 'ghiam kah nah' customer service policy. If I happen to go there again, I'll bring the 85 cent 1.7 litre housebrand mineral water from Cold S...

Like binary code, this first day of the year. When near the end, a look-back makes one feel that 'time flies'. Yet, looking ahead, any apprehension tends to cause a dreadful outlook of a long year ahead. It's a matter of perspective. Change it or continue to dread...the choice is yours. Food for thought: "This is the day that the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it." (Psalm 118:24) Have been feeling kinda down lately. So I'm looking forward to the 'Market Place' meeting for teachers and people working in the educational institutes tomorrow morning, hoping to revive the purpose in what I do, day in, day out. You know, get the big picture and find greater meaning in the ground level work. Slept in this morning. Would have lazed around in bed if not for a lunch call. My brother's pasta was a good start for the day. After that was Sakae sushi at Parkway, Carls Jr at East Coast and a short hop to Starbucks next door. Oh, I managed to change...

Christmas season is usually a time for gatherings. And with all the "fei-lou-ship" comes feasting, inevitably. Can you imagine a get-together without food? In Singapore, it's actually quite hard to imagine. Let's count the feasts... 19 Dec - Band Christmas Lunch Buffet @ Downtown East Sakura 24 Dec - Office Christmas Lunch 24 Dec - Family Christmas Dinner @ Peck Hong's (a.k.a. 大姐's house) 26 Dec - Worship Ministry Team Leaders' Meeting cum Christmas Lunch at Caleb's 26 Dec - Cell Group Dinner at (the other) Caleb's Was supposed to go for another Dim Sum buffet this afternoon at Tung Lok but I pulled out the night before for obvious reasons. Yesterday, at both Caleb's, we had turkey...on the same day eh. Wa lau... cannot make it (referring to myself, not the turkey). And I realised... I got quite a lot of presents this year wor! :P I've caused so many people to be blessed (it's more blessed to give than receive mah, hee hee...).

God sees us through and through. There's nothing we can hide from Him. Truly, I find it comforting when I can get beyond my grief and bare my heart to Abba Father. He knows how I feel and why I feel the way I do. In His mysterious way He would show me my heart in the matter and gently correct me so I get the right perspective. Sometimes it's hard for me to accept it but in the end, there's release in that submission. God's ways are higher than man's ways add together. He sees the present from the future so it would only be wise to do it His way, even if at the moment it doesn't seem to make any sense. Release forgiveness and grant grace to those who deliberately rejects acts of kindness. Do not give up on those who are blinded by their own wickedness and see others as themselves. Continue to love. "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual host...

So they said, “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household.” (Acts 16:31) When mom told me that she is signing dad up for baptism, I didn't know how to respond. She said she asked dad and he was ok with it. So last week he went through baptism class and the ceremony this evening. Except David's family, the rest of us were there to support. Definitely, an evening to remember. God is so faithful!

Maybe she's right. It's probably better to keep colleague interaction at work, and occasionally just go for a day's outing, evening meal. But friends should be able to go for a short trip together. I guess it depends. Would have to be really close friends who wouldn't mind just sitting around doing nothing and chat about anything under the sun.

"Scars remind us of where we've been but they don't have to dictate where we're going." Call me a sadist, but I used to enjoy peeling the scabs. The deeper the wound, the thicker the dried up scabs. Awesome... Many times things remind us of our past. Sometimes we remind ourselves, sometimes others haunt us with their words and actions. I'm thinking of this song by Kelly Clarkson: Because of you I will never stray too far from the sidewalk Because of you I learned to play on the safe side So I don't get hurt Because of you I tried my hardest just to forget everything Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in Because of you I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty Because of you I am afraid Maybe we hold on to it fearfully because we still can't accept that it happened to us. We hang on to the should have's and could have's, rehearsing it over and over. Then when we try to move on and brave a new path, the what if's c...

The past few weeks I've brought different people to eat at Pasta Manna on 3 separate occasions. Don't know why, just a craving and a good idea. Haha... We really ate a lot that day. From 12 to 3pm we just sat at the table right in front of my brother's stall - Pasta Manna. Hiromi will be going home soon and she asked me out for lunch. So we set the date for Sat, 12 Dec. She likes local food so I decided to take her to Old Airport Road Hawkers' Centre. Hiromi had Marinara My favourite Aglio Olio *Special* (with meatballs and bacon) Then I ordered the supersized sugar cane drink which we really took our own sweet time to down it while we chat. Supersized Sugar Cane Drink After the food in our stomach were in the correct place, we moved on to dessert. Like what Hiromi said, the temptation is too much. Haha... Hiromi ordered Cheng Tng My Ah Boh Leng In Almond Paste All the while as we progressed from one course to another, Hiromi was happily snapping away. She took the stal...

Was at the US Embassy today...ok, yesterday, to be more precise. It was a certificate of appreciation presentation ceremony for those groups that performed for the Daniel Pearl World Music Days that the embassy supported. I was representing our Fusion Percussion Anyway, the journey there was ok. Decided not to drive but just cab there since there's no parking on site, only a few alternatives around the area. Mistake. It was nearly impossible to get a cab back to TP after the event which ended slightly after 5pm. The rain didn't help. THANK GOD I managed to hijack a cab dropping a passenger at the other entrance of Gleneagles Hospital. The taxi queue stood over 20 people (not kidding) and the cabs coming in were rather scarce. God, I hope I won't ever have to be in this situation again... Suddenly, a new found appreciation for dear old Matrix. After that I met up with Francis, a Band alumni for dinner. Wanted to go to David's stall, but...it was closed for washing. Bumm...

Watched the 9.15pm Mulan with Ben, Jaslyn and Minyan just now. I can't exactly describe whether I like the show or not, cos the super irritating people in the theatre were laughing at places throughout the whole movie where, really, they weren't funny at all! I tried not to be affected and just concentrate on the movie. I mean, maybe I just didn't get it. Blaming it on a poor sense of humour could perhaps make me feel less irritated. As a result, I think it diluted the intended experience for the audience. Well, at least for me, that's what I think it is. Bummer...

Monday morning sighting...amazing work of nature. Wonder what's the name of the species...looks edible :P~ It feels so much like Saturday today. Met up with Alex and Tiny (pronounced as Tini) yesterday. You know, gather gather, and ate at Pasta Manna - a.k.a. my brother's stall at Old Airport Road Hawkers' Centre. Apparently, pan-fried meatball pasta is their all-time favourite. I like it, too. I even added extra 'toppings' - bacon. Yummy! We ended up ordering the same entre. Both Alex and myself got the set so we had mushroom soup and a slice of garlic bread. Thanks to moi...we got super big portion of pasta at no extra charge :P In addition, Alex ordered the supersized (dinosaur) sugarcane and 15 sticks of pork satay. I must say, the pork satay tastes really good. Seldom you'd get to eat pork satay, for obvious reason. We were really filled and satisfied by the end of the meal. So good we decided that the next round, we'd get a few others to join in. And j...

Writings on the walls at the backstage of Victoria Concert Hall. What do you think?

I can't sleep. Actually, it's more like I don't dare to go to sleep now. May not wake up in time for 2nd Service later. Slept in the morning yesterday, too. Then woke up shortly after and decided that I should make a quick trip down to VCH to find things that we left behind from Friday's concert. I was there around 9.30am. Did some crazy stuff just to retrieve things that, I think, was important only to me. Otherwise it wouldn't have ended where I had to go digging with tongs. After I found what I could, there was still some time before my parking coupon expired so I went behind the premise to enjoy the morning scene at the Singapore River. There were Dragon Boat races going on. So cool cos it was right smack in the CBD area so you have the row of skyscrapers behind. There were groups of people jogging, tourists snapping away. The was also a couple of Indian men sitting on the floor, each with a basket containing a snake inside. The duo were appealing to a group of ...

It has been a while. Music therapy at the Band studio. I have the privilege of being the first audience to listen through the whole repertoire. Wow... So this year's a continuation of the series Avec l'Expression. 3rd installation with the theme "Around The World". And we're really going places...all the way out of school to Victoria Concert Hall. It's about time, after 2 years of sell-out in the school Auditorium of 570-seater. VCH's like 50% more in capacity than the audi, and with the inevitable increase in ticket price, these are just some of the challenges. Well, if we never go, we'll never know! In a few minutes, I'll be counting money again...praying for sell-out again this year. The music's sounding really good, I must say. Come eh! 7.30pm tomorrow (20 Nov 09) at the good old Victoria Concert Hall...

I felt so much love and adoration for Abba Father today. Praise and worship was awesome. Such liberty, and so engaging. Thank You, Father. It was such a great thrill, I want more of it! I felt He has opened the eyes of my heart today to receive the message on zeal. Z = Zeal E = Equals A = Anti L = Lukewarmness Sometimes it seems that we are living in a culture that promotes apathy, unaffectedness. When you appear to be too enthusiastic about something, you get those stares as if you're so uncool. Now, everything has to be cool, smooth, no sweat, chill. If something is really worth living and fighting for, your words, thoughts and deeds would reflect it as it burns inside you. You wouldn't care even if it makes you look like a fool in the eyes of the world. What matters is, what are you passionate about? Jesus was not afraid to flip the tables of those turning His Father's house of prayer into dens of thieves. Are you afraid to stand for God's standard of righteousness? ...