Bandaged Soul...so I can open my heart to you again.

I'm still very much yearning for a chance to be in the Philippines again, in particularly, Santiago, where our mission team was at for the first 6 days of our trip in the middle of this month. The whole experience of being there and being involved together with these great people who embraced God's purpose to reach out to the community just stirred up this longing within me. My heart is telling me I want to do more than what we put our hands into for that week. God has opened my eyes wide and what I saw and experienced have made, and are still making, a deep impact in me. And plus they're celebrating the Cornerstone Church's 5th anniversary with Pst Yang and 'gang' going over just makes my heart itch with the desire to be there. During the trip, for a few hours after the Sunday Service where I preached at, I had a chance to sit down with Cristina, DaBen and JoBoy from the worship team. We were working on the harmony parts for a song that they're going to tea...

My thoughts are still slowly settling with the experiences from a mission (exposure) trip which I got back from a couple of days ago. Touched down Singapore at about 1.30am, followed by a series of events scheduled over the weekends. Attending a wake tonight. Haven't had time to blog about it. Like I said, I'll need more time to organise my thoughts. But just a little prelude... The 9 days spent at the Philippines (Santiago and Manila) were meaningful ones filled with thought-provoking moments and self-challenges blessed with God's grace. After 19 years of being with my Church, this is the first time I stepped into the mission field. I'd never really felt compelled to go for one. This might sound a little superficial - I always thought that going for an overseas mission trip is like a 'rite of passage' for every believer. In simple words, I feel kinda lousy when I hear of the exciting stories of Church friends returning, but somehow, I was never convicted to joi...

Strangely, I'm feeling a little morbid. I'm just going to be away for 9 days to The Philippines but while I'm packing and settling things at work, bills, travel insurance, it feels as if I won't be coming back again. In less than 8 hours, I'll be on Cebu Pacific to Manila, and then a 8-hour bus ride to Santiago. Yeah, I know, it's going to be a bum-numbing journey. Seriously, I don't know what to expect. Our schedule is not by the hour, not like Church Camp. In a more positive tone, I'm trusting God for His provision and protection. On a not so faith-full sentiment, I feel like I'm a fat lamb on the way to the slaughter house. A death of the unwanted stuff in me. Pride, self-confidence (not that I have much to start with), self-sufficiency. Self. Period. Suddenly, what you think you have, you're kinda losing it. And what you think you don't have, of all days, you're right. It's a test of simple faith that doesn't feel so simple. I...

Sang at Ben and Jaslyn's wedding this morning. Was part of the worship team. It was quite different from usual service worship session. Most of the people just stood there. But God was there to grace the event so I had a good time. You know you've done well when the Guest of Honour enjoys the 'performance'. That's all that mattered, and it would be more than enough.

A thought-provoking short passage about the relationship between The Church and her Bridegroom. Incidentally, reading it also caused me to ponder a little on our relationship with people around us to a certain extent. Are our relationship with people (we think) we love based on material benefits we can get out of it, or just because we simply enjoy their company. Or do we not mind something less? Anyway, here's the 'short passage'... By David Ryser: “A number of years ago, I had the privilege of teaching at a School of Ministry. My students were hungry for God, and I was constantly searching for ways to challenge them to fall more in love with Jesus and to become voices for revival in the Church. I came across a quote attributed most often to Rev. Sam Pascoe. It’s a short version of the history of Christianity, and it goes like this: “Christianity started in Palestine as a fellowship; it moved to Greece and became a philosophy; it moved to Italy and became an institution; i...

It was really delightful to receive so many birthday wishes on Facebook. For the record, it was on Monday, 20 Jul. So here I am writing about it, lol... Actually, celebration started on Friday. Colleagues gave me a lunch treat. Let's see, Catherine, Fayanne, Hwee Hoon, Sheena and Anne. We went to this vegetarian eatery opposite TP. Some of the dishes we ordered were really good. Look at the photo, what a spread! Fayanne made me a chocolate cheese cake which I took home 1/4 of it. Said she stayed up till 2am for it. So touched :~) Then they bought me and one of our temp staff, Samantha (we shared the same birthday) a cake (my favourite kind) and went through the usual whole-office-sing-birthday-song 'ritual'. Haha... Sunday after Prison Ministry, went home to pick up mom and dad and we went to Mui's house where the family celebrated for me with another cake (that's like the 3rd one before my actual birthday) With nieces and nephews With mom and sisters Took leave on ...

It takes a lot of courage to hope for something, and it's not easy to step out in faith. Takes a lot of trust in the source of what you hope for, especially when you were initially apprehensive about it. Then when you finally thought that you could put yourself out, but it seems that the source might have decided to withdraw that hope, things began to fall apart. Now you would probably be in a worse state than before you even started hoping. But all these are just speculation. The end has yet to come. Patience. Some people choose not to hope at all, much less develop any tinge of expectation. They'll probably agree that, "No dependency, no expectation; no expectation, no pain." It's easier this way, isn't it? I shall not succumb to a position of hopelessness. For God is my hope and my salvation. One who is faithful and true. That my life is in His hands - that in itself is an everlasting hope.

A day-after report of drama at work just this Tuesday, by my colleague: Dear all, Amidst the seemingly regularly evening in TP, a drama unfolded around 8.30pm right outside SAA last evening. As all of us have been briefed and some even viewed the security footage about the recent spat of crimes committed by an outsider. A few courageous SAA and EFM staff prowled the stadium on the lookout for the thief nicknamed the ‘Professional’. Just when all thought that it would be a ‘No show’, report of sightings came in - dressed in cap, dark T-shirt & Jeans. Our guys reacted swiftly alerting each other and started trailing him. Being the ‘Professional’ that he was he sensed that something was amiss and started to walk away from the stadium, walking passed the rock wall and out of sight into the corridor. In that very instance our intrepid staff Paul Ang shouted at him exposing his cover, as if on cue, everyone who was in the loop picked up their paces and started running towards his locatio...

Someone's attempt to get me hooked through a dating agency has failed. Out of curiosity, and an open mind to possibilities, I told the lady that I would turn up for the 8 o'clock appointment. That was yesterday, by the way. Basically, all I did was to complete a 4-page profiling questionnaire of myself and what I want of my ideal partner for them to input and churn out a match. Then comes the little chat with the staff, who kept trying to get me to change my criteria that I'm only interested in Christian men, saying that it would really narrow down the match. Apparently some other Christians don't mind free thinkers. While I understood where she was coming from, I doubt she knew my stand exactly. To me, what's the point of opening the option to date someone who's different from me on the most basic of basics? It's not a matter of how a free thinker is able to accept me in my own religion. It's about me wanting to be able to share this part of me with som...

Matrix is officially malfunctioning in its vital department - the cooling system. I'm not feeling any cold air. Gotta send it for check up soon. Initially it was just took longer to spurt out the cold air, but eventually it happened. For the whole day that I drove it today, I haven't felt any of that at all. On any other days, I would have delayed going. But the weather has been quite relentlessly hot these past months that it warrants immediate action. So, another trip to the mechanic some time this coming week. Got a new contact from Ken, a car sales person cum Church friend. If I can, probably take leave tomorrow to deal with it. At the same time, I can fix the plastic protector strip which I scraped off last Saturday. Bummer... Seriously, I hope that the heatwaves go away really soon. Was telling God just before I left my car, in his sovereignty, to send a little rain. And what do you know, I heard a series of distant thunder a while ago...hopeful! It's no longer thunde...

I just got reminded that I have a blog...lol :S Have been quite busy with so many things in the various facets of my life. Some overwhelming, grueling to the soul. Some uplifting and presented a hopefulness that gets me excited despite the unbearables. But in everything, I must say God has shown Himself to be the faithful God that I love so much. So that's what is making me press in forward and for more of what He has for me. As what someone prayed over me one Sunday, He is who I've been singing about. Man, that just struck a super chord in my heart. It makes all the difference when I sing, on and off stage. Now that I think about it, I know why I never like singing secular songs about love or even try listening to them. Cos, more often than not, they just don't mean a thing to me.

I'm going to miss my M'n'Ms (not the chocolate leh... it's Matrix and Max) for the next 3 days while I'm away at Church Camp in Malacca's Equatorial Hotel. But I believe the pain will be easily outweighed by the exciting time I'm going to have at the camp. We had a taste of the 2 camp speakers during 1st and 2nd service this morning. Listening to them makes me look forward to going...I can't wait. I hope I get to spend more time with people this year. Last few years, I tend to look for as much time I can spend by myself. Wah, why so emo? Heehee... gotta change, cannot be so anti-social hor, hahaha... So this year's theme verse for the camp is taken from Zechariah 9:12... "Return to the stronghold you prisoners of hope, even today I declare, that I will restore double to you." Wah, thank God I can go, even thought I need to coach back a day earlier. Nearly got left behind due to work. Better go finish my packing, sleep early, so can get up t...

Went to IKEA with Catherine on Wednesday. Loi was out of town so I thought I could ask her to have dinner with me. So she had her meatball and I my chicken leg. The chicken's was rather dry. Maybe I should go back to having meatballs next time. Anyway, I wanted to look for a nice single sofa. One that I could relax in and read a book. We found this really comfortable one that's a recliner. When I tried it, I told myself I want to save up to buy this one! Sooooo shiok, I almost didn't want to get up. I think mom would love it. But it's $498! Do you think it's worth it? If I put it at home, it would have to split between me and mom. She takes the weekends when she's back, and it'll be mine during the weekdays...sounds like a good deal. See if I can choh-choh mom to agree to a deal. Haha!!! Hmmm...maybe this dream may come true in July. Either I try to CONvince my siblings to get it for my birthday, or I might have some extra cash then. Which colour should I ch...

I was searching for some music for the upcoming Student Awards Ceremony when I came across this old song in my workstation PC. When the music came out, in contrary to the titel, I felt quite a stirring that brought about a groaning within my heart. I hope it stirs up something within yours, too. In The Calm - Jennifer Deibler IN THE CALM Performed by Jennifer Deibler Written by Scott Krippayne, Tony Wood Chorus: In the calm of Your presence I am listening, Lord I am still, I am quiet I am Yours Verse 1: Let Your Word speak to me Let Your Spirit draw near I will obey The truth that I hear Chorus Verse 2: There's a thirst in my soul For Your wisdom divine I long for the peace And life that I find Chorus I am still, I am quiet I am Yours

Psalm 57 (New King James Version) –To the Chief Musician. Set to “Do Not Destroy.”[a] A Michtam of David when he fled from Saul into the cave. 1 Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me! For my soul trusts in You; And in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge, Until these calamities have passed by. 2 I will cry out to God Most High, To God who performs all things for me. 3 He shall send from heaven and save me; He reproaches the one who would swallow me up. Selah God shall send forth His mercy and His truth. 4 My soul is among lions; I lie among the sons of men Who are set on fire, Whose teeth are spears and arrows, And their tongue a sharp sword. 5 Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; Let Your glory be above all the earth. 6 They have prepared a net for my steps; My soul is bowed down; They have dug a pit before me; Into the midst of it they themselves have fallen. Selah 7 My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and give praise. 8 Awake, my glory! ...

So we've been experiencing quite a bit of bright sunshine lately, haven't we? And at this moment, I'm feeling the sunshine inside of me. Thinking about it makes it closer to exploding. It's the knowledge of my Father's love, and of His grace that brings my heart to know it. Worship was great this morning. It was a heart-to-heart time with God and I felt engaged. I believe we hit something. I can't put my finger on it, but I'm really grateful for His faithfulness cos I know that there's so much more that He wants us to get into - more than what we seek after. I pray that we can fathom His holiness more deeply and give Him the praise and worship He truly deserves. I'm so looking forward to next Sunday! Worthy is the Lamb!

Check out my new green canvas crocs! First time wearin it today, yo! Super comfortable. My favourite colour, too! :)