Bandaged Soul...so I can open my heart to you again.

I just read a winning essay on "What The Modern Woman Want..." by a 15-year old Singaporean girl. It was really well-written and it made my heart heavy just reading it. It's about a successful modern woman who was, by the end of the essay, too successful to include her old mother in search of greater happiness in her career, marriage, and life of luxurious pleasures. I feel sad for the mother, and sadder because it could well easily be a true reflection of life lacking in moral values. I'm not activist in filial piety. I know I have caused much grief to my parents with my ignorance and selfishness, anger not controlled enough to attain the 'honour your parents' part of the ten commandments I'm still learning to obey. But time is too short to dwell with regrets. I'd rather redeem it with repentence and change. But that'll take another separate post altogether. My purpose of this post pertains actually to a short paragraph after the essay, probably j...

Know my heart for you. Do not be afraid to be convicted (never condemned) by the Holy Spirit. "Go, send or disobey." - John Piper Proverbs 24:11, the wise King said, "Deliver those who are drawn toward death, and hold back those stumbling to the slaughter."

This is the first time I saw it spelt out. Was chatting on FB with Joe, our sound guy all the way from Shillong, India. Then out of no where, he just called me 'Cynthasizer'. I was like? Oh gosh, that's was what the guys from the Worship Ministry used to call me. You see, I used to play the keyboard for Church in the early years. Haha... Brings back some fond memory... It's been a while. I miss Jonathan Lim, Derek Chan (mali chan) and Paul Huang. And Victor, and Hanhua, and Stephanie...and many more. People come, people go. I'm glad my Jesus is the same and always with me yesterday, today, and forever.

I forgot to blog on another important date. Sep 11. But I shall not go too much into it. I'm sure many are solemn in remembrance of those who were sacrificed that day. It's already the ninth one this year and in 2 years, there will be many 10th anniversary of the passing on that same fateful day. So why do I not learn from the mistake and forgot again? Well, I have been busy packing my cluttered room the whole of yesterday. Took leave for the past 2 days just to do that but was too lazy on Thursday. Anyway, I managed to 'surrender' 3 big piles of stuff, like magazines, books, floppy disks (I'm serious). One more yellow plastic bag on the way to be filled. I'm also cataloging my books, music and movies, can you believe that? It's so tedious, mind you. And my personal library is surprisingly huge. I want to cry... See lah, buy, buy, buy!!! But I'm repenting, hence this 'spring' cleaning. I'm working towards a more simple life. GOD HELP ME! Anyw...

It's down time for me today, and I think it started since yesterday. You know things are obviously not well when you feel all the should have's and could have's all through the day, and you keep putting off things you need to do before you even tell yourself you are going to put them off. I feel like just going to sleep now and start with a brand new day just to make me feel better. Sigh...but what's the point? Then I'd just be putting it off again. Vicious cycle. So I'm just blogging this to remind myself that on the day after the day that I was supposed to blog because I told myself (for the whole day) I wanted to blog on a day with beautiful date (09.09.09) *take a deep breath* of what a terrible strings of decisions I've made. Hopefully, it'll help to minimize recurrence. I felt like Roman 7:15, "For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do" Or maybe I've overrated m...

I love picnics. I think I got it from living in Perth for 3 years, where it's near to the Swan River (not lake), and a huge green pasture called the Esplanade. It's big enough to house a kite festival. Usually during fall or spring season, we'll frequent the area for picnics or barbeque (actually it's more like hotplate and it's free) at this park. It's nice to sit under clear blue sky with cool breeze, and nice grass to sit on. Maybe it's about re-living the feeling of the good old days that I've brought this interest back with me to Singapore. When I first got Matrix, I bought 2 picnic umbrella from IKEA sale, and I've got picnic mats too. So my colleagues and I planned for a picnic a couple of weeks ago and it actually came to pass yesterday! We each contribute different kinds of food to share. As for me, I made vegetarian stir-fry Korean vermicelli. I wanted to put minced pork but one of my colleague's a vegetarian. Yeah, it was home-cooked a...

My sister say I look like a teacher in this photo, haha! This morning I had a short online chat with Sis Jane from the Philippines and got to know that Ps Winston's wife, Mary Jane, has delivered a healthy baby girl yesterday (2 Sep 09) morning. I was anxiously waiting for the good news for the whole of yesterday, but those I chatted with didn't seem to know. So was really glad for the confirmation today. Then shortly after, an sms from Maureen really made my day. She conveyed that the baby is named Esther Faith! I was absolutely thrilled, cos last week, over an online chat with Ps Winston, I suggested that name! And I told him in our most recent chat that it was also the first name that Maureen blurted out when I only mentioned to her that I suggested "Faith" (his first girl, Eunice, has a middle name, 'Hope', and faith was much needed for this one). A confirmation further confirmed by the parents themselves. Haha! Sooooo happy! Haha! I think I'm going to...