Bandaged Soul...so I can open my heart to you again.

I'm peeling on my nose. All thanks to Orientation Finale on Friday, I was out in the sun from early afternoon to evening, from the stadium tracks to Bedok Reservoir, from telematch to dragon-boating. Of course I'm not alone. But this year it's my first to be so 'exposed' due to a change in job scope. I think I nearly had a heat stroke. Felt really nausea somewhere in the middle of the telematch. Thought I would not be able to 'dong' until the end of the the dragon boating segment, but felt better after sitting in the shade at the reservoir. One of my colleagues actually puked when we were packing up at the end. Poor thing. It could have been me, too. Next year we should get caps for all the officials. Well, it's over. Again I felt quite proud that the whole team pulled through the whole project together. Some had sleepless nights, quite a few stayed till real late on some days, even coming back to the office over weekends. Well, we all had our share of O...

My heart aches because I cannot hate. I'm not supposed to. And I don't want to. Yet the more I try to suppress my right to hate, curse and swear, I find my heart aches even more. Why? WHY??? How come? Why would somebody behave this way? So merciless, so relentlessly ungracious. What have I done to deserve this? Re-quote: "A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave." - Mahatma Gandhi In some sense, I believe Gandhi is right. It is so painful to love. It hurts just to refuse to hate somebody who hates you. So one must possess great courage to continue opening one's heart to love and risk the possibility of not being loved in return. Such cruelty. Notwithstanding, God's word is still the life-giving truth and His ways are righteous and just. Luke 6:27-36 27 “But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you. 29 To him who strikes yo...

"A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave." - Mahatma Gandhi "It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare." - Mark Twain "Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point." - C S Lewis God knows I need some of that now. Sometimes I tell myself if it's really worth it to put your heart out for certain people because they don't even care a hoot and they don't want to have anything to do with you. Agape love should not contain any grudge in it. Yet the bitter feeling of being offended by the rejection makes it so hard to love cheerfully. And the irony of it is, the more I try to love cheerfully, the more hypocritical I feel. I know I need courage not to give up on loving. But how to do it right? Someone told me that you can hate a person and still work with him/her perfectly in a professional level. But what he didn...