Bandaged Soul...so I can open my heart to you again.

So fast, another week has past, another month is coming to an end, wrapping up the first quarter of 2008. This academic year has been rather enriching and I felt like it was a season of learning more about myself - my strengths and my weaknesses. In particularly, it was a year of much heartaches from the process of learning to love unreservedly and unconditionally. Not that I am already loving in this way, but even the learning process has proven to be possibly painful, yet at the same time insightful. Truly, only by God's amazing grace. So patiently and so faithfully God has been guiding my heart, my ways, my journey to a love more pure and more pleasing to Him. There are prevailing questions in my heart during this journey. As much as we want to be that secret lover, we so much want to be known and appreciated by the beloved. Is that being selfish? Or can it be that having the desire to be loved by the one we love also stems from the fact that the beloved matters to us, and that,...

The theme song from the movie of the same name. DECEMBER BOYS By Peter Cincotti I'm thinking about you And I remember everything All of us I look at the ocean But still I can't see anything But all of us The time of open hearts The time before the rest of life begins The learning who we are What I'd give to be December boys again Nothing was easy But I would do it all again Never change a thing It's all about choices, But I couldn't watch you walk away, Without following. The lives of broken dreams The lives dividing strangers from your friends We live in you and me Oh would I get to be December boys again In between a man and child Homeless hearts is running wild Everything on earth was worth a try It took me by surprise It felt so good to be alive Sooner or later I'll find the end to everything But life goes on Twisting and turning Forcing us through everyday Until it's gone At last I think I know The past is where we keep what might have been But it's...

No it's not a Korean name. A lesson on articulation, among other basic aspects in singing during vocal lesson in Church this evening... (English Translation) No I can't forget this evening Or your face as you were leaving But I guess that's just the way The story goes You always smile but in your eyes Your sorrow shows Yes it shows (No I can't forget tomorrow When I think of all my sorrow When I had you there But then I let you go And now it's only fair That I should let you know What you should know) I can't live If living is without you I can't live I can't give anymore I can't live If living is without you I can't give I can't give anymore Hmmm...all I can say is, I like her confidence and her stage presence beats most people I know, even though they can really sing. Today I drove all the way to IMM to get some school stuff. With a little help on navigation, I managed to get there and back in one piece, undefeated by the little detour.

I'm feeling it today. Maybe because these few days, the weather has been rather hot. Even the evening sun blazes like nobody's business. Or perhaps it's due to my lower right eyelid is swollen...AGAIN!!! Really, what's the deal? My colleagues advised me to go get it checked. Cos, this year alone, I think this is the 3rd episode. Now my right eye looks equally listless as my left. Even the birds are acting up...and shitting more on people's car. Past few days I've been wiping them off mine. And I discovered that it don't need to avoid parking under the tree. Cos you'll get it anyway. Had my car washed yesterday because it was quite dusty already. And just as I approached it this morning...basket, one medium splatter on the windscreen. I think the birds in my area got diarrhea... Anyway, I like driving into manual car wash. When I was studying in Perth, my previous car suffered because I never bothered washing it. And you know the Australian sun power in s...

One man's meat is another man's poison. Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. These 2 statements have at least one meaning in common - to each his own. Everyone's entitled to his/her own opinions and preferences. I have no problem with that, really. Nevertheless, it's quite sad that some people really trash what others value as treasure. It's like their personal preference is the only one worthwhile. Others' are crap. I think it's much worse when 2 persons once shared a common treasure, then something happened, and one began to think trash of the same thing that one used to think highly about, and go round making his or her point known to people around. Spare a thought for the one who shared the treasure with you before. Be kind or at least be gracious about it. Don't have to show contempt just because you changed your mind about it. Maybe yours is the one that's truly crap. You're just blinded by your own selfish desires.

Love both renditions of Somewhere Over The Rainbow performed by Katharine McPhee...heart melt :)

Had a meeting on our arts calendar for the next AY on Friday. My, it's reality to my face that the peak period is coming again. And I feel that I've not even 'recuperated' enough yet. As much as I'm looking forward to seeing my students again and all the vibrancy at the arts centre with students practising in the evening, I'm fully aware of the need to conserve energy for longer journey ahead. So I pray that the promise of a fruitful year and God's ever faithful grace would give me the faith and courage to face the next round. Ding ding! Desperate for grace and love to overcome the tough days ahead. Being responsible has deeper meaning the past year, it seems. I've learnt that you can only say that you have a certain virtue, if you still have it during times when you don't feel like it, or when circumstances make it hard for you to sustain it. I guess that's what Jesus mean by loving our enemies. What is it to us if we just love the lovable? Radi...

I don't know why, but this song makes me happy. The lyrics is secondary at this point. The music makes me simply wanna dance - retro, agogo style. Haha...it makes me happy :D . The music and the voice feel so... serene. Just imagine a drive along the coast in a convertible. Really eat wind lah. Haha! Simple joy :)

Late for work today cos I was squeezing red ants crawling around my car with pieces of tissues. It all started yesterday morning when I was dashing out to my car which was parked underneath a tree, It was drizzling. On the way I felt 2 blobs of water on my head and I think they must have brought down the red ants from the trees. To keep the long story short, I killed 5 red ants that I found crawling on me as I was driving to school. Dangerous, man! Considering my mid level of phobia with red ants from childhood experience. When I got to my office, found 2 more!! Eeeek!!! So when I noticed a few more on my car this morning, I was determined to face my fear and exterminate them before they have a chance to creep on me. Thinking of it again makes my hair stand. Cell meeting tonight was a bit different. Watched a DVD about Heidi Baker's ministry at Mozambique. After that we wrap bao-bing for supper. It was really yummy fun. Nowadays I keep smelling smoke when I'm in my room, even r...

It's almost 2am and I'm still wide awake. I guess I owe it to myself for not insisting on the normal routine. It seems that I'm not as 'nocturnal' as I thought I was. I suppose at this stage of one's life, can't expect too much. I think I am getting tired of this cycle, again. This cycle has been repeating itself the moment I thought I was out of it, giving me headaches after headaches. Sometimes I want to believe that I couldn't help it. That would make me feel better. But who am I trying to kid? I'm not blaming anyone or anything, though there have been a stuff happening around me and within me that have kept my mind working overtime.

I like the weather these past few days. And today seems like it would be the same, too. Dim with clouds and rain during occasional parts of the day. It was pouring on Sunday when I walked out of Cluster A at Changi Prison. Ok, that part was a bit unpleasant cos my pants were kinda stuck to my shins. But the drive, though it feels more dangerous, was compensated by the relaxing bossa nova music playing on the car stereo. It was like calmness in the midst of storm. Me and my colleague went swimming on Monday evening. We went to the training pool because the water sports students were training at the deep pool (hmmm...), leaving it with not many lanes for the rest of the swimmers. The shallow water was so cold, especially with the evening breeze after a light drizzle just before I arrived. After a while the students needed to switch pool, so we went over to the deep pool. The water there was nicely heated. But somehow I kinda like the cool waters. Anyway, I didn't swim much that eveni...

So here's the old song which I really like the music and voice, as mentioned in my 27 Feb entry, Love Your Smile And Your Company . Click the link to my blogger entry if you would like to listen to the song. Enjoy...

It pains me to hear you say goodbye Sending off to another what is yours by your right I watch your awkward stride, carrying your ailing hunched back To lock the gates as he walk towards the steps Oh God, hasten Your work of reconciliation Grant me grace to wait with patience Give them courage to follow your wisdom So as to claim your full-bloomed salvation My hope is in You to make all things new Give a fresh start from deep within their hearts Do what only You are able to do You are my hope and all that is true

So you think I passed? I thought it was a good attempt...haha!

Wow, it's the 1st day of March. Well, there's nothing much to "wow" about lah, just that every 1st day of the month is a reminder of the passing of one full month. We try to live one day at a time, but when the full month is over, it's like a much bigger step. Usually we have our anniversaries of events by year, right. So the month kinda tells you "it's that period of the year again." Oh well... Wanted to blog something last night when I got home from cell. Actually I did write a few paragraphs but was not able to publish it due to the persistent slumbering spells which didn't allow me to think properly...heehee. So here's presenting to you...the few paragraphs! Haha... Dip #4 this evening, I feel, was the best for the week. Not much people, had a lane to myself so managed to swim in peace for 14 laps. After that, I spent some time to help a colleague who had just completed her lessons a few days a go. She's been very brave to practice at...